Tuesday, September 2, 2014

TARA ANSWER TO ME...MY RESPONSE

Now to Keith:
You said you weren't intending to attack my personal character and that you do not believe I'm different in my moral character and as a wife, mother, etc.  But is that not what you immediately insinuated when you first discovered my apostasy?  Did you not immediately email me with a message that you were SHOCKED (understandable) and then say that you hoped I would not do anything to your site, blog, etc. since I know your passwords?  That was offensive to me.  I'm not trustworthy because the bible tells me so.  I'm trustworthy, because that's just who I am and who I want to be.  I've got the ability to form long-lasting and deep friendships and other social bonds because of my honesty and trustworthiness.  I can live guilt-free, so therefore I can be happy with myself, too, in addition to living happily in my relationships with others.  Furthermore, concerning access to your various accounts, I offered, in reply, to walk you through step-by-step how to change your passwords so that you could rest easy, even though I have no intention of logging into your accounts.

Perhaps I took it too harshly, but I will honestly say I found it quite appalling.  I then immediately wondered if that is the kind of thing you would have done, if it was turned the other way.  It seemed you were using your own mindset to judge mine.  I'm not sure what you would do in that situation, or not, but I will say that the other person who hardcore rejected me as a friend along with you really did a similar thing years ago.  We ran a website community together with equal administration duties.  Her short temper fused toward me, and she deleted everyone's content, including things that were dearly important to me (namely an entire pregnancy journal that I hadn't saved elsewhere).  Although that hurt, I forgave her.  I easily forgive others.  We've all done stupid or ugly things.  There are plenty of non-trustworthy Christians.  My being a Christian or not shouldn't determine my trustworthiness.  


ANSWER:

YES  I  WAS  CONCERNED  YOU  WOULD  MESS  WITH  MY  ACCOUNTS.  THOUGH  I  KNEW  YOU  WOULD  CONTINUE  TO  BE  MORAL  IN  LIFE,  AS  A  WIFE,  MOTHER,  CHILD  RAISER  AND  ALL  THAT,  I  DID  NOT  KNOW  WHAT  DEPTH  SATAN  HAD  GOT  YOU  IN  REGARDS  RELIGION,  AND  WHAT  HE  MIGHT  LEAD  YOU  TO  DO.  NOW  YOU'LL  PROBABLY  DISMISS  THIS  WITH  THE  WAVE  OF  YOUR  HAND,  AND  POOHOO  IT.  BUT  WITH  YOUR  DEDUCTING  MIND,  YOU  SHOULD  BE  ABLE  TO  REASON  THAT  RELIGIOUS  PEOPLE  LIKE  MYSELF  WOULD  THINK  THIS  WAY,  HENCE  YOU  SHOULD  NOT  HAVE  BEEN  SHOCKED  OR  SURPRISED  AT  ALL,  AT  MY  THOUGHTS.  WE  ARE  NO  LONGER  ON  THE  SAME  WAVE  LENGTH.  YOU  SHOULD  ALSO  BE  ABLE  TO  DUDUCE  THAT  OUR  FRIENDSHIP  WAS  PURELY  IN  THE  CONTEXT  OF  "RELIGIOUS  FAITH"  FROM  THE  START  WHEN  YOU  CONTACTED  ME  IN  A  CONTEXT  OF  "CHRISTIAN  RELIGION"  -  YOU  CONTACTED  ME,  NOT  THE  OTHER  WAY  AROUND.  OUR  FRIENDSHIP  WAS  THUS  IN  THE  CONTEXT  OF  THE  "TRUE  CHURCH  OF  GOD."  NOW  THAT  CONTEXT  IS  NOT  THERE.  YOU  SHOULD  BE  WISE  ENOUGH  TO  HAVE  READ  THE  NEW  TESTAMENT  ENOUGH [THEN  AGAIN  MAYBE  YOU  DID  NOT]  TO  KNOW  THE  APOSTLE  PAUL  COULD  NOT  CONTINUE  FRIENDSHIPS  WITH  THOSE  WHO  TURNED  FROM  "THE  FAITH" -  OF  COURSE  NOW  YOU  MAY  LAUGH  AND  SCOFF  AT  THAT,  BUT  IF  YOU  READ  ALL  THAT  PAUL  WROTE  YOU  WILL  FIND  THOSE  PASSAGES,  EVEN  THOUGH  YOU  WILL  DISMISS  THEM  AND  MAY  THINK  PAUL  WAS  NUTS  OR  VERY  HARD  AND  UNKIND,  WHICH  TO  YOU  WILL  ADD  FURTHER  PROOF  THE  BIBLE  IS  TO  BE  IGNORED  AND  PUT  ON  THE  TRASH  PILE.  BUT  THE  FACT  IS  PAUL  WAS  LIKE  THAT  WITHIN  A  RELIGIOUS  TRUE  CHURCH  OF  GOD  CONTEXT.  I  ALSO  MUST  FOLLOW  PAUL.  NOW  WITH  YOUR  DEDUCTING  MIND,  YOU  SHOULD  BE  ABLE  TO  DEDUCT  I  WOULD  DO  AS  PAUL  DID.


There are times in the past where I've become extremely irritated with you, but every time I've overlooked it.  I still loved you, and I went to special measures to prevent frustration. One of those things I already mentioned, namely unsubbing from your blog at a time in the past, because there were too many health-based commentaries you made that drove me up the wall, because it was in error or something else.  


ANSWER:

MOST  OF  MY  HEALTH  BLOGS  ARE  FROM  DR. MERCOLA  OR  HEALTH  BOOKS  I  HAVE  BOUGHT  AND  FOUND  VERY  GOOD  KNOWLEDGE  IN  THEM.  THE  PROOF  OF  THE  PIE  IS  IN  THE  EATING.
TELL  YOU  WHAT,  IF  THIS  AGE  GOES  ON  UNTIL  YOU  ARE  72,  SEE  IF  YOU  LOOK  AS  HEALTHY  AND  FIT  AS  I  AM,  OR  EVEN  BE  AS  HEALTHY  AS  I  AM  BY  THAT  AGE.  NOW  YOU'LL  BE  OF  COURSE  SAYING  I'M  VAIN,  AND  ONCE  MORE  JUST  WAVE  IT  OFF  AS  JUST  SO  MUCH  TALK.  BUT  THE  FACT  IS  YOU  AND  YOUR  CHILDREN  AND  NATHAN  HAVE  MANY  HEALTH  PROBLEMS  IN  YOUR  RELATIVELY  YOUNG  YEARS.  SO  SOMETHING   IS  AMISS  EVEN  YOU  WAVE  YOUR  HAND  AND  DISMISS  WHAT  I  JUST  STATED.  THE  FACT  IS  I  HAVE  SINCE  A  YOUNG  TEEN  BEEN  FOLLOWING  THE  CHARLES  ATLAS  HEALTH  AND  STRENGTH  COURSE,  AND  HAVE  RETAINED  MY  HEALTH  AND  VITALITY.  SO  IF  YOU  HAVE  BEEN  FRUSTRATED  BY  MY  BLOGS  ON  HEALTH,  MAYBE  YOU  SHOULD LOOK  DEEPER  INTO  YOUR  MIND-SET  AND  DEDUCT  WHY.


In time I decided to subscribe again, because I felt that I could manage to delete the ones I wanted from the get-go and only open the ones I thought were worth reading.  And it was working quite well.  I also had my reasons to stop reading so much on your website.  Of course it wasn't just your website.  I have avoided all COG ministers' articles and sermons.  Some of the things I listened to when attending UCG drove me up the wall, especially knowing that most listeners just soak it up unquestionably.  I've never seen anything good come from that.  Quite the contrary.  It's easy, when you see one person teach a lot of things that seem to make good sense, to start idolizing and putting to much trust in that person.  Then the person becomes proud and thinks too highly of himself.  I have concluded that some men do not even realize it.  They do not even see it in themselves.  


ANSWER:

HUMMMM..... GUESS  THAT  IS  WHAT  YOU  THOUGHT  OF  ME  ALL  ALONG  AND  I  HAD  NO  IDEA.  I  HAD  NO  IDEA  I  WAS  LUMPED  IN  WITH  THE  RUN-OF-THE-MILL  COG  MINISTERS  IN  YOUR  EYES  AND  MIND.  BUT  NOW  YOU  MAKE  IT  PLAIN  WHERE  I  STOOD  FOR  YOU.  IT  WAS  YOU  WHO  CONTACTED  ME  YEARS  AGO,  AND  YOU  MADE  IT  APPEAR  TO  ME  YOU  THOUGHT  WE  WERE  PRETTY  WELL  ON  THE  SAME  GROUND  THEOLOGICALLY.  YOU  APPEARED  TO  ME  IN  WORD  AND  DEED [WHEN  WITH  YOU  FOR  TWO  FEAST  OF  TABERNACLES]  THAT  WE  WERE  ON  THE  SAME  GROUND  THEOLOGICALLY;  EVEN  TO  THE  POINT  I  WAS  SO  CONVINCED  I  NAMED  YOU  AS  A  CO-WORKER  WITH  ME  IN  GOD'S  WORK.  AH  WELL  AS  THEY  SAY  WE  LIVE  AND  LEARN,  NOT  ALL  IS  AT  IT  APPEARS.


And just about all of us who have been a part of a COG mindset have thought of ourselves as too special.  Oh, that God actually chose us out of everyone, that he called and chose us.  And look at all those blind ones around us.  We've got the truth, and they don't.  Breaking away from that has only made me a better person.  I no longer think I'm doing better theologically than my family and friends who do not believe that way.  And poisonous relations cut me off.  I didn't have to sit down and analyze who was not a good friend.  They made the decisions.  It opened my eyes all the more to how cultish and toxic and unforgiving and hateful the fruit of the bible is.  


ANSWER:

ONCE  MORE  THIS  MAKES  IT  VERY  PLAIN  AS  TO  WHAT  YOU  THINK  OF  THE  BIBLE  NOW,  AND  HOW  IN  YOUR  MIND  AT  PRESENT  YOU  THINK  THE   PEOPLE  WHO  ARE  REALLY  TRYING  TO  FOLLOW  THE  BIBLE,  ARE  IN  THEIR  FRUITS.....CULTISH, TOXIC, UNFORGIVING, HATEFUL.  THIS  ALL  JUST  REALLY  MAKES  JESUS'  WORD  COME  TO  LIFE,  THAT  HIS  TRUE  FOLLOWERS  WOULD  BE   ACCUSED  OF  ALL  KINDS  OF  THINGS,  EVEN  AS  THE  ENEMY,  AND  SOME  IN  KILLING  THEM  WOULD  THINK  THEY  DID  GOD  SERVICE.  IN  YOUR  CASE  AS  NOT  IN  A  GOD  CONTEXT,  YOU  CLASSIFY  US  AS  CULTISH,  TOXIC,  UNFORGIVING  AND  HATEFUL,  COMPARED  TO  ONES  WHO  LIVE  WITHOUT  THE  BIBLE  AND  CHRIST  IN  THEIR  LIFE.  BECAUSE  WE  CANNOT  ACCEPT  YOUR  REJECTION  OF  THE  BIBLE  AND  JESUS  AS  SAVIOR,  WE  ARE  NOW  THE  BAD  GUYS  AND  GALS,  WHILE  THE  BIBLE  REJECTORS  ARE  YOUR  FRIENDS  AND  THE  LOVING  PEOPLE.  BECAUSE  WE  BIBLE  BELIEVERS  REJECT  YOUR  REJECTION  OF  THE  BIBLE  AND  CHRIST,  AND  CANNOT  WALK  WITH  YOU [THE  BIBLE  SAYS,  CAN  TWO  WALK  TOGETHER  UNLESS  THEY  AGREE,  WHICH  YOU  WILL  LAUGHT  AT  NOW]  WE  ARE  THE  NOW  TOXIC  ONES,  THE  HATEFUL  ONES,  THE  CULTISH  ONES.  AND  SO  INDEED  IT  WILL  BE  IN  THE  LAST  DAYS.  WE  TRUE  CHRISTIANS  WILL  BE  THE  HATED  ONES,  EVEN  THE  ONES  TO  BE  PUT  TO  DEATH,  AS  IT  HAS  BEEN  IN  TIMES  GONE  BY.  YES  HISTORY  DOES  REPEAT  ITSELF.


The ones unharmed and uninfluenced, or mildly so, are the ones who are good people, no matter what.  One person told me I was the truest friend she'd ever had, but in the same breath told me she couldn't dare associate with me, anymore, that she needed "Godly women" as friends.  Well, she needs "godly" something, because she sure didn't treat me so, unless the "godly" she meant was the likeness of an evil god.  I would have stood by her side the remaining years of her life, just as I have been doing, just the same.  I would have lovingly encouraged her and been there for her.  I would have been true to the end.  But that wasn't good enough, apparently.  Without the "Christian" label, without the "belief," I'm as good as the shit in her commode.  I wonder whether the Christian-label friends she will try to find will ever be as true as I still would have been to her.  I wonder whether they will be as good an influence to her.  I've got enough experience and observation to know that the Christian label won't be a determining factor.  I was hurt by the cruelty I incurred.  And STILL (maybe I'm stupid) I would forgive her if she came to me.  And STILL I would be her true friend.  Because that's who I am.  In the meantime, I do still have friends who love me.  They don't all agree with me, but they love me all the same.  And that is truly more worthy than anyone who judges based on religious beliefs. 


ANSWER:

I  HAVE  A  FRIEND  CALLED  ALLEN,  HE  IS  "RELIGIOUS"  BUT  OF  THE  FUNDAMENTAL  PROTESTANT  FAITH.  I  HAVE  A  FRIEND  DIANE,  IN  THE  HORSE  WORLD,  AND  WORK  FOR  HER  IN  THE  SUMMER  HORSE  CAMP,  SHE  IS  IF  ANYTHING  ROMAN  CATHOLIC,  SHE  DOES  BELIEVE  THERE  IS  A  GOD,  TAUGHT  IN  THE  ROMAN  CATHOLIC  SCHOOL  SYSTEM  FOR  35  YEARS.  THESE  TWO  PERSONS  ENTERED  BY  LIFE  NOT  THROUGH  RELIGION;  THE  BIBLE  AND  CHRISTIAN  RELIGION  WAS  NOT  FROM  THE  START  IN  THE  PICTURE  OF  OUR  FRIENDSHIP.  WITH  NEITHER  DO  I  GET  INTO  ANY  DEEP  THEOLOGICAL  TALK;  OUR  FRIENDSHIP  IS  NOT  BASED  ON  CHRISTIANITY  PER  SE.  SO  OUIR  FRIENDSHIP  CONTINUES  VERY  NICELY  INDEED.  YOU  ON  THE  OTHER  HAND  ENTERED  MY  LIFE  BY  YOU  CONTACTING  ME  AND  IT  WAS  TO  DO  FROM  THE  START  WITH  "CHRISTIAN  RELIGION."  OUR  FRIENDSHIP  WAS  BASED  UPON  SEEKING  AND  BEING  IN  THE  END  TIME  TRUE  CHURCH  OF  GOD.  OUR  FRIENDSHIP  INCREASED  UNDER  THAT  GROUND  SO  DEEPLY  I  THOUGHT  IN  THE  CORRECT  FOUNDATION  OF  CHRISTIANITY,  THAT  I  OPENLY  TOLD  EVERYONE  I  CONSIDERED  YOU  TO  BE  A  CO-WORKER  WITH  ME  IN  THE  CHRISTIAN  GOSPEL,  AND  IN  THE  TRUE  CHURCH  OF  GOD.  ONCE  MORE  WE  ARE  BACK  TO  PAUL  AND  THE  CONTEXT  OF  THE  TRUE  CHURCH  OF  GOD.  WHEN  PAUL  SAW  SOMEONE  LEAVE  "THE  FAITH"  -  ESPECIALLY  IF  A  TEACHER  IN  THE  BODY  OF  CHRIST,  HE  DID  WHAT  IS  WRITTEN  IN  HIS  LETTERS [IF  YOU  HAVE  EVER  READ  THOSE  PARTS]  TOWARDS  THOSE  PERSONS,  WHICH  I  HAVE  EXPOUNDED  ALREADY  A  NUMBER  OF  TIMES.  PAUL  COULD  NOT  CONTINUE  HIS  FRIENDSHIP  WITH  THEM.  HE  HAD  TO  HAND  THEM  OVER  TO  SATAN [WHICH  YES  YOU'LL  LAUGH  AT  NOW]  AND  PRAY  THEY  WOULD  COME  TO  REPENTANCE.  I HAVE  TO  FOLLOW  PAUL  IN  THIS  MATTER  WITH  YOURSELF.


Also, I thought I'd explained how it worked to you in the past, but perhaps I'm mistaken:  You cannot judge by "hits" or "page views" or "visits" how many people are reading your articles daily.  Every file that downloads on a page counts as a hit.  One unique visitor can count as several hits on just one page, depending on how many images and other files, in addition to the html file itself, is on the page.  I can't remember for certain whether I said something to you in the past or not, but I do know that you publicly stated numbers before, and I saw your stats myself in your file manager, and you were not going by unique visitors.  According to the following site (Stat Brain, if I remember correctly), it's estimated that your site gets around 984 unique visitors a month (average of 33/day).  Not 1,400+ daily.  Then you've got to take into account there are many who land on a page, and it's not what they're looking for, or it may be one of the many books of others you've scanned to your site, rather than any theological article.   The majority of the 900+ average visitors each month are not there because they're wanting to stay there and read something.


ANSWER:

I  GO  TO  "UNIQUE  VISITORS"  ON  MY  SERVER  AND  THEY  SHOW  AND  HAVE  SHOWN  FOR  A  FEW  YEARS  NOW  THAT  MY  UNIQUE  VISITORS  DAILY  ARE  ANYWHERE  FROM  1,000  TO  4,000.
NOW  HOW  ALL  THIS  BREAKS  DOWN  I  DO  NOT  KNOW.  HOW  THEY  FIGURE  IT  ALL  I  DO  NOT  KNOW.  I  HAVE  JUST  REPORTED  AT  TIMES  WHAT  THE  UNIQUE  VISITOR  STATS  ON  MY  SERVER  GIVE.  IT  DOES  NOT  MATTER  IN  THE  END.  I  DO  HAVE  PEOPLE  READING  AND  USING  MY  WEBSITE.  I  DO  HAVE  PEOPLE  SERVED  BY  MY  WEBSITE.  I  DO  WORK  WITH  PASTORS  IN  INDIA.  I  DO  KNOW  EVANGELIST  MANASSEH  ENCOURAGES  HIS  MAINLY  SUNDAY  OBSERVES  TO  USE  MY  WEBSITE.  HE  TELLS  ME  MANY  OF  THEM  ARE  SO  DOING.  I  CERTAINLY  KNOW  MY  WEBSITE  IS  NOT  GOING  TO  SHAKE  THE  EARTH,  OR  TURN  THE  WOLRD  UPSIDE  DOWN,  AS  THE  FIRST  APOSTLES  DID,  AS  ONE  SECULAR  LEADER  SAID  THEY  DID.  BUT  IT  IS  REACHING  SOME,  THOSE  THAT  GOD  WANTS  IT  TO  REACH,  AS  JESUS  THE  HEAD  OF  HIS  CHURCH  WANTS  IT  TO  REACH.  THE  FLOCK  OF  GOD  HAS  ALWAYS  BEEN  THE  "LITTLE  FLOCK"  THE  "SALT  OF  THE  EARTH"  JUST  SPRINKLED  HERE  AND  THERE.  MY  WEBSITE  IS  APPRECIATED  BY  THOSE  WHOM  GOD  LEADS  TO  IT.  BE  IT  10  PEOPLE  A  YEAR  THAT  COME  TO  CHRIST  AND  TRUE  SALVATION  THROUGH  IT  OR  10,000  -  THAT  IS  MY  GOD'S  DOING.  OBVIOUSLY  ACCORDING  TO  YOU  "STATS  BRAIN"  AND  MY  SERVER  UNDER  THEIR  "UNIQUE  VISITORS"  STATS  HAVE  DIFFERENT  WHATEVERS,  FOR  MY  SERVER  UNDER  "UNIQUE  VISITORS"  FOR  YESTERDAY  AND  TODAY  HAVE  OVER  2,000  FOR  EACH  DAY.
BUT  THE  BOTTOM  LINE  IS:  GOD  USES  MY  WEBSITE  ACCORDING  TO  HIS  DESIRE,  AND  ACCORDING  TO  HIS  WILL.  YES  I  DO  REGULARLY  PRAY  TO  HIM  TO  SO  USE  IT,  TO  LEAD  OTHERS TO  IT  WHO  HE  IS  CALLING,  AND  TO  USE  IT  ACCORDING  TO  HIS  WILL.

WELL  YOU  HAVE  REVEALED  YOURSELF  TO  ME,  IN  WAYS  I  HAD  NO  IDEA  WERE  GOING  ON  IN  YOUR  MIND  TOWARDS  ME,  I  GUESS  IN  THE  LAST  NUMBER  OF  YEARS  ESPECIALLY.

I  WILL  CONTINUE  TO  TRY  AND  SHOW  ON  MY  WEBSITE  THE  BIBLE  IS  INSPIRED,  AND  DOES  NOT CONTRADICT  ITSELF.  I  WILL  CONTINUE  TO  SHOW  FROM  PhD  SCIENTISTS  IN  VARIOUS  SCIENCES, THAT  GOD  DOES  EXIST,  THAT  THERE  IS  A  MASTER  MIND,  A  GREAT  DESIGNER  BEHIND  EVERYTHING  IN  THE  UNIVERSE.

NOW  ONCE  MORE  I  SADLY  HAVE  TO  SAY  ALL  THIS  WILL  BE  DONE  WITHOUT  YOU  AS  ONE  OF  MY  CO-WORKERS,  AS  SADLY  YOU  HAVE  REJECTED  THE  BIBLE,  JESUS  AS  SAVIOR,  AND  THE  SUPREME  GOD  IN  THE  UNIVERSE.
..........



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