ROMANS EPISTLE #4

 

 

Chapter Seventy-two:

Paul writes Romans - Part four

CHAPTER SIX SYMBOLISM OF WATER BAPTISM Paul anticipated the argument coming back at him for what he had taught about grace and justification, that if his position was correct, then people should practice MORE sin so grace could be glorified even more. His fast and immediate answer to this was, "GOD FORBID!" He said that those who had died to sin could no longer live in sin. He goes on to explain this sentence. It all has to do with water baptism, and what that rite pictured or symbolized. Being baptized in water, immersed fully under water, which correct water baptism does (the New Testament Church of God knew no such practice as sprinkling a few drops of water over someone to baptize them, even the large and very old Roman Catholic church for many centuries of the Christian age, baptized with full immersion. This fact can be found in the Catholic Encyclopedia), pictures our dying with Christ. If we did not come up from under the water we would die, and as it is done in the name of Jesus, Paul says, "as were baptized into Jesus Christ, were baptized into His death" (verses 1-3). As Jesus was raised from the dead by the Father, so we are raised from the watery grave so to speak, to have a NEW life that we are to walk in. Jesus was raised to a new glorified life, and as we have died in Him in water baptism, so we shall be one day in the likeness of His glory (see 1 John 3:1-3 on that matter, and 1 Corinthians 15 which we have covered in previous chapters), which to Paul meant that Christians now have a new life to live after they are baptized. Verse six say it all. Our old man with its sins was crucified or put to death in Him through water baptism. Going under the water symbolized that we were willing to put the old sinful man to death, to destroy sin, that we "might not serve sin." It is as plain as the nose on your face as we say, that baptism means we are willing to NOT SERVE sin any longer, that we HENCEFORTH have a different mind-set, one that wants to go in the opposite direction of serving sin. And by putting a few Scriptures together we can understand the New Testament definition of what sin IS - see 1 John 3:4; James 2:10-12. We are then to have a mind-set of wanting to obey the Ten Commandments (and we must remember that the Ten commandments are amplified or magnified by the whole Bible, so it is indeed a mind-set of doing what Jesus said in Matthew 4:4 - that is "living by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God"). Paul gives the illustration that if we be physically dead, we can no longer sin. Then he proceeds to our being dead in Christ. Our water baptism was as if we died with Christ on the cross, and so being "dead with Him" in a figure, we shall also "live with Him" in another figure of speech. As Jesus was raised from the dead, and He died because HE took all our sins upon Himself and died the penalty of sin for us, which penalty was death. But now He is alive again, raised from the dead, in glorified eternal life, death can never touch Him. He is completely free from sin ever being able to tempt Him, let alone perhaps sin (remember the Scriptures teach in the book of Hebrews that Jesus was tempted in all points like us, but never sinned). Now being raised from death to immortal life, Jesus is free from even the temptation to sin. Christ died to sin, or for our sins, once upon the tree, but now lives as God lives, never to sin or even be tempted with sin. It is a life where sin is not even there in any sense period (verses 4-10). The following verses of Paul are so plain and so easy to understand, when we know what sin IS, then even little children can understand what Paul is clearly saying in verses 11-14. I will quote them from the "New Living Translation" published by Tyndale House. "So you should consider yourselves dead to sin and able to live for the glory of God through Christ Jesus. Do not let sin control the way you live, do not give in to its lustful desires. Do not let any part of your body become a tool of wickedness, to be used for sinning. Instead, give yourselves completely to God since you have been given new life. And use your whole body as a tool to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you are no longer subject to the law, which enslaves you to sin. Instead, you are free by God's grace." God has through Christ delivered us from the law that enslaved us to death, for the law had said to the judge that we were guilty of breaking it, we had sinned, and were so condemned or enslaved to have the penalty of law breaking applied to us. We had gone through many red stop lights, and were now enslaved or captured by the policeman's law radar detector, and were found guilty of breaking the law, and so the penalty of breaking the law was upon us. But the judge had given us grace, or mercy, through his son, who had be willing to pay our law breaking fine for us, in our stead. We were free by grace from the sin we had committed, and so now we were to have a mind-set that wanted to never break the law again, that wanted to never sin again. We are now to yield our body and mind and life to being like an instrument in God's hands that only produces the righteousness of God (again see Ps.119:172 for one definition of righteousness). Being under the "grace" of the judge would mean we were willing to put sin away, and never want to serve sin again, we would now have the desire and heart to not obey sin, but just the opposite, to obey righteousness. Paul says in verse 15, that we "are not under the law but under grace." How this phrase has been misused by so many over the years is a classic example of the silly, Biblically uneducated people, who claim to be guides and leaders in Bible understanding and in the way of the Lord concerning salvation. They are instead truly as Jesus said of the same type of individuals in His day, "blind leaders of the blind" who both shall fall into the pit. Whatever Paul is saying here in this verse, it does concern SIN! And he clearly says ONCE MORE, that in all that he has been teaching, that if the argument is put forth that being under grace means we can serve sin more and more, then he answers loud and emphatically....GOD FORBID!! Putting Scripture with Scripture, we have already seen what sin IS. Breaking the law of God, the Ten Commandments, is sinning. Paul is in this section of his epistle, making the point that a Christian being baptized and starting on a new life, must put away sin, must not serve sin, so he CANNOT be here in verse 15, stating you can have the mind-set to NOT obey the law of God. It is obvious from the CONTEXT, that "we are not under the law, but under grace" does NOT mean we can live and practice a way of life that breaks the law of the Lord. The ONLY meaning of this phrase can be that as we are delivered from the penalty of breaking the law, which hung over us, as we are under or have been given grace, mercy, forgiveness, of our sin of law breaking, we cannot now go ahead and live a life of sin, or law breaking. The judge in giving you grace or forgiveness for going through a number of red lights, is NOT giving you the freedom to continue to go through any and all red lights you come to, as you now have his grace. Paul goes on to make what he has just stated about grace and law and sin very easy to understand and never to mis-apply what he is teaching on the matter. I will give you verses 16-23 from the "New Living Translation." "Don't you realize that whatever you choose to obey becomes your master? You can choose sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God and receive His approval. Thank God! Once you were slaves to sin, but now you have obeyed with all your heart the new teaching God has given you. Now you are free from sin, your old master, and you have become slaves to your new master, righteousness. I speak this way, using the illustration of slaves and masters, because it is easy to understand. Before, you let yourselves be slaves of impurity and lawlessness. Now you must choose to be slaves of righteousness so that you will become holy. In those days when you were slaves of sin, you weren't concerned with doing what is right. And what was the result? It was not good, since now you are ashamed of the things you used to do, things that end in eternal doom. But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves to God. Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord." It is really simple to understand if you really want to understand. The Bible tells us what sin IS and what righteousness IS. I have given you those Scriptures that interpret for us sin and righteousness. Paul is clearly saying that when we are forgiven of our sins through the grace of God via the blood sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we must have a new mind-set, which is one of turning from living the way of sin and turning to obey the righteousness of God. How people can try to say that Paul was the teacher who abolished the law of God, the Ten Commandments, is to me the hight of New Testament ignorance. Then again I know the reason some have this theology. It is because they will not obey the FOURTH of the Ten Commandments, and so will twist themselves into every contortion they can possibly come up with to teach others that the law of God is abolished under the New Covenant. CHAPTER SEVEN Paul now draws on a point of the law, the Old Covenant in this case, not the law of the Ten Commandments per se, because it has to do with marriage and re-marriage. He tells them that they should know the law applies only to a person who is still living. He illustrates with the basic law of marriage. In a general sense the law bound a woman to her husband till death. If he died then the laws of marriage no longer applied, she could re-marry, but if she tried to do this when he was alive, she would be committing adultery. Before we proceed with exactly what Paul was illustrating with all this, I want to mention that the law Paul was stating about marriage, was a GENERAL statement only. Most people are unaware of the principle of "general statements" in the Bible. There are dozens and dozens of them. An example would be this; the New Testament states "It is given unto men to die once, and after this the judgement." This is a general statement, for we know that a number of people in the Bible were raised from the dead to physical life again (the famous example is Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead), hence those people died TWICE. Another general statement is that which has perplexed many, found in the book of Proverbs; "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." This is also a general statement, because it is a fact of life that some parents have trained very well their children or child in the way of the Lord, the way they should go, when they were children, but the child or children, never accepted that way in which they should go, and died (young or old) as un-converted none Christians. The frustrating problem that many parents have had over this verse is put to rest and peace, when we understand that it is a general statement only. It does not apply in every case. So this example of Paul here about what many claim is THE ONLY law of marriage and re-marriage - death of one of the parties. Such is not the case, for Paul was taking his example from "the law" - the Old Covenant, and the fact is the Old Covenant under Moses DID ALLOW for DIVORCE and RE-marriage is certain situations. This can be easily seen from reading the ENTIRE Old Testament. What Paul was doing was giving a general statement example in marriage. To cover the exceptions to the general rule would only have clouded what Paul was illustrating for his main point, which was not really anything to do with marriage and re-marriage per se. Now to what Paul was getting at. He explains in verses 4-6. And once more here is where many have very badly not understood Paul. Many say this is another section where he "abolishes" the law of the Ten Commandments. Of course if such people would read verses 7-25, and see that Paul in his mind-set ready did want to obey the law of God, and admitted it was holy, the commandments were holy, just and good, then they would seek for the true understanding of verses 1-6. From verse 4 to 6 is Paul's explanation of verses 1-3. Before you died in a figure with Christ on the cross, you were held in the power of the law. Now what power does the law have? Can the law talk to you? No, it cannot. Can the law say you are innocent if you break the law? No it can not. Can the law show mercy to you for transgressing it? No it can not! The only thing where the law has power over you, is to condemn you for breaking it. You then before dying in a figure with Christ on the cross, were held in the condemnation power of the law, in this case of humanity, it is the penalty of death that the law demands from you for being a sinner, for breaking the law. You were held under that power of condemnation, but when in a figure you died with Christ on the cross, you paid the penalty, it held no more power over you, you were free from it's power of death, free to marry another, be united with someone who was raised from the dead to glorious immortal righteous life. That someone who you can now also be united with in the same kind of life of righteous living, is Christ Jesus. The sinful life is gone, it is dead. You have died through Christ to that old sin that hung over you, and the penalty which the law demanded you pay. It's all taken care of, it's all paid in full, because you died in figure through Jesus' death on the stake. And now you are free from condemnation to be married to Him that was raised from death to glorious life that can only live righteously with God. We are now in a new marriage, with a new husband, with a new fresh start and with a new mind-set of leaving behind the husband of sin and death, and being joined to a husband of perfect righteousness, so we also can as a result, produce good fruit, good deeds, a good way of living for God. I will add words in brackets to amplify the "New Living Translation" of verses 5-6. "When we were controlled by our old nature (our husband in Paul's example) sinful desires were at work within us, and the law aroused these evil desires that produced sinful deeds, resulting in death (the law stood and beamed a light on sin, even magnifying it, and then we could see where our desires of sin had led us to sin, and so then condemned us to death). But now we have been released from the law, for we died with Christ (released from its condemnation and penalty, for that is Paul's context. We in the person of Christ died on the cross, the law's power of death paid in full, so we are free from that powerful old husband), and we are no longer captive to its power (yes, the context of Paul is the law's power, the old husband's power of death over us). Now we can really serve God (our new husband) not in the old way by obeying the letter of the law (we may have had a partial observance of God's law in certain ways - many people do not murder, or bow before a stone or wooden idol in their back yard - our old husband may not have been totally evil, but we were still far from obeying God as He would want us to obey Him), but in the new way by the Spirit (Jesus came to magnify the law - see Isa. 42:21. We saw how he magnified it when we went through the "sermon on the mount" as it is often called - Mat.5,6,7. We are now married to a new husband - God, and He demands a walk of life that is in Spirit and in truth - John 4:24. He demands a serving of Him in a much deeper way than the way we lived under our old husband)." GOD'S LAW REVEALS OUR SIN This is the way the "New Living Translation" heads verses 7-13. I will give you their translation. "Well, then, am I suggesting that the law of God is evil? Of course not! The law is not sinful, but it was the law that showed my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, 'Do not covet.' But sin took advantage of this law and aroused all kinds of forbidden desires within me! If there were no law, sin would not have that power. I felt fine when I did not understand what the law demanded. But when I learned the truth, I realized I had broken the law and was a sinner, doomed to die. So the good law, which was supposed to show me the way of life, instead gave me the death penalty. Sin took advantage of the law and fooled me; it took the good law and used it to make me guilty of death. But still, the law itself is holy and right and good. But how can that be? Did the law which is good, cause my doom? Of course not! Sin used what was good to bring about my condemnation. So we can see how terrible sin really is. It uses God's good commandment for its own evil purposes." Ah, yes, this is exactly what I have been bringing out to you. Paul interprets himself. He knows the law itself is good, holy, just, and did you notice he said that where there is NO law there is no power. Obviously if there is no law you cannot break it. For some to say that the law of God was abolished at the cross is to say that since the cross there has been no sin, hence you and I are not sinners, and we need not a Savior. How silly, how il-logical are some of the reasonings of some Christian teachers. The law cannot possibly be "done away with" for it is the law that tells you what sin IS, as Paul has just shown us. He personifies sin here. Personification is taking an object, a thing, and making it into as if it is a person. Sin became a person in a figure of speech, and sin looked at the law of God and said, well I can take this holy and good and righteous law, and use it to smash over the head every person, for if they know the law or if they do not know it, no person has ever observed it perfectly, they have broken it in one way or another, and I can use it to condemn them all to the law's penalty - death. So sin stood before the judge and with a holy and good law (the law of stopping at red lights is a good law, it protects us as we travel around the roads. Just think about our roads not having red and green lights at intersections - what a mess of accidents and death and injury there would be) said, "Look all these people have broken this holy law, and so I demand the penalty for breaking this good law be applied to them. I demand they all be put to death." Sin as a person used God's holy law to its own evil end - to condemn us all. Paul then goes on to say in verse 14, "The law is good then. The trouble is not with the law but with me, because I am sold into slavery, with sin as my master" (New Living Translation). He goes on to say: "I'm somewhat baffled and amazed, for what I should do I often don't do, and what I hate I often find myself doing. If I'm then doing what I should not do, then I have to admit the law is good. Then I know it is not really the deep mind-set I have towards good, but it is the nature of sin that still remains in me. Of myself, in my natural flesh there is no real help, for I have the right mind-set towards good, but how to perform it I find not in my natural nature. For the good I should do, I do not, and the evil I should not do, I often do. It is the natural sinful self that pulls me towards doing what I should not do. It is then like an invisible law, that when I want to do good, evil is still present with me. In my deep mind-set I delight in the law of God after the inner heart. But then I see another invisible law inside of me, making war against the law of my mind's delight, and it brings me into captivity to the law of sin that is still inside me. I often feel wretched. Who shall deliver me from this sinful law of death? I thanks God through Jesus Christ our Lord. He is my victory. So it is with my new mind-set that I serve the law of God; but with the natural flesh I still serve the law of sin" (my own paraphrased rendering of verses 15-25). Paul, as a Christian, under the New Covenant, with Jesus as Savior, wanted to go the right way, he wanted to SERVE the LAW (sure did not believe it was abolished) and do what was righteous and good. At the same time he still had what we often call "human nature" inside of him, and it was like a law of gravity that pulled towards doing and going the WRONG way, the way of sin. There were then TWO gravity laws so to speak, inside of him, each pulled against the other. And without help from someone, the law that pulled towards evil often won the battle. But he finished on the positive....he has someone that can give him victory over the pulling law of sin, and that someone was Jesus Christ. We can now put this with that great verse of Galatians 2:20. Jesus lives in the true Christian and we live by the faith OF Jesus, His faith IN us, and He within us gives us the victory in the main (we do as Christians fall at times - see 1 John 1:8 to 2:6) over the law of the pull towards sin. It is very clear that the whole CONTEXT here shows the LAW of God, the Ten Commandments has NEVER been abolished. And being in Christ, or as Paul has said, Christ in us, leads to no condemnation. .......................... May 2004 TO BE CONTINUED

ROMANS EPISTLE #3

 

 

Chapter Seventy-one:

Paul writes Romans cont'd - Part three

CHAPTER FOUR ABRAHAM'S JUSTIFICATION If Abraham was justified or forgiven sins and made at right standing with God, by earning it through working at law obedience, so God was forced to "pay forgiveness wages" to Abraham through works, then there was not much to glorify God in, for to him that works for something and gets paid for his work, in this case forgiveness of sins, then sins are not forgiven by "grace" (undeserved forgiveness) but by earning it through works. But Paul argues, Abraham was NOT justified by earning it but by the grace of God, for the Scripture said that Abraham BELIEVED God, had FAITH in God's way of justification from sins, and so was forgiven and made righteous or at-one with God, as if he had never sinned. So a person does not have to work at getting "ex" number of "good points" in order to be forgiven of sins, but it is FAITH in the way that the Lord said a person would be justified, that is, the way to be declared righteous or sinless. Paul says that even the great king David knew the way that was determined before-hand by God to be made righteous or sinless, and it was not by a system of "earning it through works" - so it really was a blessing for someone when God would forgive iniquities and not bring to account or claim the debt of sins was to be paid - which would be the debt of death (see chapter 6:23) (verses 1-8). If the judge makes you work by saying you must obey the red stop light a thousand times before the one offence you committed by going through the red light, is forgiven, then you have "earned" by "works" your pardon or forgiveness of the offence, But if the judge offers you pardon through the grace of his son who paid the penalty for your offence, then you are forgiven of the offence by "grace" and your "faith" in that gracious way provided for you by the judge and his son. You have not "worked" at traffic law keeping to be justified, but you have been show grace, and so your faith in that grace, makes you forgiven, and so you stand before the judge as righteous, or as if never having offended the law in the first place. This is the nut shell of what the Scriptures taught on justification with God, and hence, what Paul was teaching as to the truth of the matter on the subject. WHERE DID PHYSICAL CIRCUMCISION FIT INTO ALL THIS? The Jews relied heavily upon the rite of physical circumcision. As we have seen there were some who believed circumcision was "a must" in order to be saved. They could see in their history that circumcision started with their great father Abraham, so to them the rite just had to be a necessary "work" to be justified. Paul had argued correctly that NO works by Abraham earned him justification, and in fact Abraham was justified by FAITH, not by working at any law keeping, so the next question Paul brings to bear on this whole subject is WHEN was Abraham declared righteous, sinless, or justified? Was it when he was circumcised or un-circumcised? The answer is clearly given in Genesis. It was when he was UN-circumcised! Reading Genesis chapter 12 and there-after will make this very plain. After Abraham was declared righteous, THEN the rite of physical circumcision came, and it was therefore a sign or seal, that he had righteousness by FAITH. This showed the true light of the circumcision sign. That physical rite had in no way given Abraham righteousness or justification with God. Abraham was ALREADY justified with God BEFORE the rite of circumcision was introduced upon himself and all his physical descendants, the male descendants of course. So argues Paul, Abraham is the father of justification by faith to all, Jew or Gentile, that BELIEVE or have faith in justification by God's grace through Christ. Even if people are not circumcised, if they have faith as Abraham did, then being un-circumcised meant nothing as far as being justified or forgiven of sins before God. The promise given to Abraham that he should be heir of the world (another way of saying eternal life with inheritance of the world and universe - as many Scriptures in both Old and New Testament clearly promise) was not through working at "works of law" - earning it all as a kind of payment for doing certain deeds, but was through the process of having faith, that salvation and eternal life would be by God's grace, via the sacrifice for sins of the Son of God, who would come to take the sins of all mankind upon Himself and so pay the death sentence penalty, of those sins. Paul keeps going over this truth again and again, just coming from it in different ways and from different angles. The bottom line he states again. If salvation and justification from sins is earned by observing laws, then faith has no part in it, and so the promise to Abraham that it would be by faith, is made void, and the promise of salvation and forgiveness of sins coming through having faith, was all useless talk by God, and is totally of no effect. Then looking at it from another point of view, Paul says in verse 15, that trying to attain salvation and justification by law keeping (any laws, physical or moral) would only bring WRATH and doom shall we say, because a law can only reveal what breaking it will result in....wrath, a penalty. Obvious he says, if there is no law, there is no transgression of breaking that law. If there is no law that says you must stop at the red light, you cannot be breaking that law if there is no law to tell you to stop at red lights. But there IS such a law. And so with God's law. It IS there and unless you have NEVER ever broken it, and never ever will break it, that law can only being wrath or doom or punishment on you. As no one can observe the law of God PERFECTLY, every second and minute of their life, so everyone sooner or later will be a breaker of the law, and hence incur its penalty, which is wrath or as Paul puts it in chapter 6:23....DEATH! I have shown that no matter how many times you obey the law of stopping at red lights, all those law keeping deeds, cannot erase, forgive, justify you in the sight of the judge, for the few times you broke the law and did not stop at red lights. A law does not have "grace" or "mercy" built into it. Grace or mercy or forgiveness from law breaking MUST come from OUTSIDE of the law itself (verses 9-15). I am spending a LOT of time on this correct explanation of justification with God, as Paul had to spend a lot of time on it. As in his day, so it is today, people on the whole are really mixed up on the subject, and partly, or even in the main, people are confused and mixed up on the matter because the "religious leaders" WILL NOT teach and tell the people the truth of the matter on this essential and FOUNDATIONAL doctrine of God. It is not really that hard to understand at all. Many in the none religious world have no problem understanding LAW and GRACE, and HOW the TWO work together to make a perfect whole. How law and grace work together in the none Christian world is exactly the same as how law and grace work together in God's spiritual world of law and grace. The only big difference is that God is far MORE GRACIOUS, far more merciful, far more FORGIVING, upon REPENTANCE and FAITH, so no penalty by us, needs to be enforced, than the judges and laws of this world. You may repent for robbing a bank of 10,000 dollars, but I doubt the judge or the courts of the land would let you go without paying some penalty, just because you had repented of the misdeed. So, the apostle goes on, it was always God's design that salvation would be by GRACE through FAITH, not only to those people like the Jews, who had the law of God revealed to them, but also to anyone who was of the faith of Abraham. Abraham had faith in what the Lord had promised to him, and can even bring back people from death, and call those things as done already which are yet to be done. With God His promises are so certain that even if they are to take place way into the future, you can say they are already as if done (verses 16-17). Abraham BELIEVED God when He told him that he would be a father of MANY nations. Abraham was about ONE hundred years old, and Sarah his wife's womb was way passed the age of child-bearing. How could they, between them, have a son? How could they produce offspring that would eventually be many nations. To the human logical mind, this would be utterly IMPOSSIBLE! But Abraham did not DOUBT God's promise, he did not stagger at what the Lord had said, that he and Sarah would indeed have a physical son, born from the two of them, from Abraham's seed and from Sarah's womb. He had full faith in what God had promised. He knew the Eternal was able to perform it. Also, the one who would come to die for the sins of the world, the very Son of God, was to be from Abraham's physical descendants. Faith was manifested by Abraham, and so that faith, was accounted to him as righteousness. In other words, he was forgiven of sins, justified, and declared as only righteous, before God, by FAITH. He was not forgiven of sins by keeping some law a thousand times, and so earning the right to be forgiven. It was not through some work of law keeping, but through FAITH in what God had promised, that Abraham was justified. All of this Paul says was not written down just for the sake of Abraham, but especially for those who would come after Abraham, who could also be justified through faith. Through having faith in God who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. Having faith that Jesus was determined from the beginning to be delivered up in sacrifice for our sins, and was raised from the dead, for our forgiveness of sins, or justification (verses 18-25). The last verses above of this chapter four, is Paul's nut-shell of all the truth of that which he has been discussing, which has been justification by grace through faith, in the promise of God that the Messiah Jesus would come to die for the sins of ALL mankind. That He would take OUR sins upon Himself. The judge's son would take our penalty for breaking all those laws of not stopping at the red lights. So having FAITH in that plan of the judge and of his son, we could then be shown grace, be forgiven, not have to pay the penalty for law breaking. CHAPTER FIVE "Therefore," says Paul, "Being justified by FAITH, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." What peace it is. We do not have to try and mark up for ourselves a thousand "good deeds of law" to erase one sin. Anything along that line for justification with God, would surely be a yoke of a burden that would be unbearable. But we stand in God's grace, and we rejoice in the hope of the promise of wonderful glory that shall yet be ours. And because of the glory we shall obtain, we can endure and even have some good feelings about tribulations we often go through in this life time. We also know that tribulations - trials, tests, and troubles, can work godly endurance in us. We move through them and we come out the other side a stronger Christian, for we have learnt to walk with God and serve Him, even when things in life are hard and difficult. Endurance through trials gives us experience, we learn lessons, we learn how to manage situations, where to be wise, what to do or say the correct thing, where we have made wrong choices, so not to repeat them. We then can have full assurance of the expected hope, and not a "hope" as if "a maybe" - but it is an assured hope based on facts that our faith is founded upon. The fact that we do have God's love in our heart, we have His Spirit, and we KNOW that we were doomed in our sins, we had no strength on our own, no amount of law keeping could erase our sins. But Jesus Christ did come as appointed in God's time, to die for sinners. Now and again Paul says, a man may die for another fellow he considers a "good" or "righteous" person. Look at all the police officers and fire-fighters, who put their lives on the line each day, to perhaps save the life of someone they would probably consider an upright, good person of our land. But God showed love towards us in sending His Son (and remember the Son had just as much love, in being willing to come) to DIE for us, while we were great SINNERS! It was like a police-person willing to die for a bunch of foul murderers in some maximin prison somewhere. We are then justified or forgiven of past sins through the blood of Jesus, and we shall also be saved from the wrath to come (upon unrepentant sinners) through this same Jesus. What does Paul mean? He goes on to explain, with the connecting word "For" - "For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled (justified, forgiven) to God by the DEATH of His Son, much more being reconciled, we shall be saved by HIS LIFE!" (verses 1-10). Many do not understand ALL the saving power in Jesus. They can understand up to His death and His sacrifice on the cross, His shed blood, but they are lost when it comes to understanding Paul's statement, "we shall be saved by His LIFE." They know of His death for sins, but they do not know of His LIFE for sins, or what being saved by His life means. Paul explains it all, and so do other apostles in their writings of what we call the New Testament. As you read the whole New Testament the truth becomes plain. I will try to explain it in relatively few words. You come to realize through the mirror of God's word and His law, that you are a sinner, you have come under the death penalty for being a sinner. No amount of law observing can forgive you of all the sins you have committed. You see that God sent His Son to live in the flesh, and to take all the sins you have done upon himself. You realize Jesus died and had His blood shed on the cross, to pay the death penalty for your sins. You have faith in that sacrifice of Christ. You have repented of being a sinner. God accepts your repentance and faith. He shows you grace through Jesus' death on the cross. You have now been forgiven of sins and justified or made righteous before the Father. Faith and grace does not abolish the law. You now go forth as being righteous, as sinless, but sooner or later through the weakness of the flesh, you again sin. What can you do? Has the Father provided a way for you to be forgiven or justified from the sins you now find that you sometimes do as a Christian? Yes indeed. Jesus was raised from the dead. He ascended to the right hand of the Father in heaven. He now has the office of High Priest. He is there in heaven interceding on our behalf. He knows what it is like to be human, He knows the things that can trip us up, and make us sin, He had and experienced all these things, yet He remained sinless. He can then be a faithful interceding High Priest on our behalf. We come in humble heartedness to confess our sins before the Father, as we sin during our walk as a Christian. Jesus pleads our case for us before the Father. The Father sees our attitude of wanting to serve Him and live His way. He accepts Christ's work as High Priest, and applies more of Jesus' shed blood to our new sins. We again have grace shown to us, we are again forgiven or justified. This is the way it is until our physical death. So Jesus being raised from the dead was ABSOLUTELY necessary. We NEED His LIFE as High Priest, interceding for us. Without this part of the salvation plan, we could not be fully and finally saved into God's Kingdom. See again 1 Corinthians 15 for Paul's powerful and dogmatic statements that if Jesus had NOT been raised from the dead we would be in our sins, we would have NO hope of eternal life. The LIFE of Christ is just as important to our salvation as His death. It is a TWO PART salvation, the DEATH and the LIFE of Jesus. One part WITHOUT the other cannot bring salvation to any person who has ever lived. Grace through Christ, His death and life, and our faith in that grace of God as applied to our sins as we live through our Christian walk, is how we are saved by grace through faith, as Paul put it in Ephesians 2:8, and it is NOT through earning it by works, doing more good works than bad works, or some other ideas of "works" somehow being able to abolish our sins. No, we are reconciled to God by the death of Christ and we shall have our sins we commit after that reconciliation, abolished by the life of Jesus as our High Priest, interceding and pleading for us, and more of His shed blood covering our sins. Probably the key section of Scripture to go with this one here in Romans is 1 John 1:6-2:6. Put the two together and you have the truth as to HOW and WHY both the DEATH and the LIFE of Jesus is absolutely necessary for our salvation and inheritance into the Kingdom of God. Knowing all this truth Paul said, did bring joy in God, through our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom we have this at-one-ment (verse 10). Next, Paul shows the greater abundance of grace over sin and works. Sin entered the world through one man - Adam, and since that time, every single person had sinned (of course Christ is the exception, but Paul knows he need not even mention that, for it was known by all his readers). He shows that the nature of sin and hence a law (remember he had said that where there is no law there is no sin or transgression - chap.4:15) did exist before the Old Covenant law was given to Israel under Moses. Sin was in the world, and there must have been a law for he states sin is not counted when there is no law. Death he says, did reign from Adam to Moses, and it is a simple matter to put 1 John 3:4 together with Romans 6:23 and these verses here, to understand that God's law was from the beginning. Then he says, the grace of God is much greater than the offence. If sin was great because all have sinned, then grace is even greater. Sin came in by one man, and grace came in by one man - Jesus the Christ. Sin can only bring judgement and condemnation, but the FREE gift of grace brings justification or forgiveness of sins. It is only common sense then that grace is far GREATER than sins. And that grace was manifested by one man - Jesus. Sin was by one man, the righteousness of one other man, He who overcame sin in the flesh, never sinned - Christ, brings justification. It is through a person, not through works of laws, that justification from sins can be given to mankind. Being made righteous, declared as if never having sinned, is through a PERSON not through some other way invented by the minds of men. Paul says, that the law of the Old Covenant came into being in part to show the magnification of offence and sin, but even though it was magnified by that law of the Old Covenant, grace still did much more abound. Obviously that which can abolish sins is greater than that which brings sin, if it was not, then sins would remain. Sin did reign in one respect for a while, but grace overpowered sin and it has come to reign through righteousness (and that was the righteous perfect life of Jesus) unto eternal life, all by the life and the death, and the life again of Jesus Christ our Lord (verses 12-21). CHAPTER SIX Paul anticipated the argument - "Well okay then, let's do more sins so grace will be extolled and can abound even more in our sight." To the apostle, such a thought was abhorrent. ............................ May 2004 TO BE CONTINUED

SONG OF SONGS-- INSTRUCTIONS ON SEX IN MARRIAGE #7 - LOVE REFUSED

 

Love Refused 

A Problem Solved

Continuing with Dillow's book A DREAM OF LOVE REFUSED - A PROBLEM (Reflection #9, Song 5:2-8) Let's review the first part of the book for a moment. From 1:1 to 5:1, Shulamith's reflections deal with the wedding day and the wedding night. These chapters portray the ideal - the beauties of youthful and romantic love. Now, in the second major section of the book, a series of seven reflections portray the reality of married love. There are problems and adjustments that must be made if two people are to learn to live together in a vital marriage. The Bible is quite realistic, it doesn't leave us with an idealized picture of them living happily ever after. There were two major problems that affected the early years of this marriage. The first concerned some problems related to sex. Solomon's job apparently kept him away from Shulamith more than she liked, and he was in the habit of approaching her sexually late at night after she was already in bed. She, in turn, continually displayed a lack of interest in sex and often rejected his advances. The second problem surfaces in chapter six. Shulamith is a country girl at heart. She longs for the freedom of the country. Even though she loves Solomon, she would still like to visit her country home in the Lebanon mountains. The first part of this section of the book (5:2-8:4) reveals how they resolved their sexual differences. The second part gives the solution to the longing of Shulamith's heart, a vacation to the Lebanon mountains (8:5-13). The first part of this section consists of five reflections. It begins with "A Dream of Love Refused" (5:2-8) and ends with "The Dance of the Mahanaim" (6:136-8:4). It can be diagrammatically set forth like this: From "A Dream of Love's Refusal" to "The Dance of the Mahanaim" (Song 5:2-8:4) THE PROBLEM: LOVE REFUSED THE SOLUTION: ASSUMING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY A Dream of Love Refused A Change of Attitude A Thoughtful of Interlude A Change of Action My Beloved and Friend The Return Solomon Shulamith in the Garden The Dance Mahanaim "I have taken off my dress, how can I put it on? (5:3) Concerning: thinking about sex Concerning: her husband's availability. What kind of beloved is your beloved? Where has your beloved gone? "You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling" (6:4) "Come back come back, O Shulammite" (6:13a) 5:2 8 9 16 6:1 3 4 10 11 13a 13b 8:4 The section begins with her passive apathy toward her husband's late-night advances and ends (after a decisive change of attitude, 5:9-6:3) with her active aggressiveness in initiating sexual play(6:13b-5:4). The problem is sexual adjustment and many pertinent applications are suggested by this chapter to twentieth century marriage. This song opens with Shulamith in a semi-conscious dream state. She is troubled and restless; her "heart is awake." Sometimes a restless dream of an unpleasant event reflects a degree of inner distress concerning the event. Many have found themselves dreaming about things that upset them during the day or about a particularly disturbing problem they are faring. The poet may have included the dream as a way of telling his readers that the problem troubling Shulamith is very upsetting to her. Insofar as the dream seems to contain a scene in which she is being punished (beaten by the palace guards) perhaps we are to assume she was feeling guilt over ignoring Solomon's sexual interest. COMMENTARY 5:2 SHULAMITH: I was asleep, but my heart was awake. To sleep while the heart is awake is to dream. The Hebrew text reads more literally, "I sleep and my heart keeps on waking." It was a restless and dream-filled night for Shulamith. She evidently tossed throughout the night in a restless sleep, stirring oft-times in a troublesome dream. This section of the Song reveals two possible causes for her restless night. First of all, she and the king have had difficulties resolving some sexual problems (5:2,3). Secondly, she seems to have developed a longing for life in the country once again, and she has had trouble fully adjusting to palace life (6:12,13; 7:12). The sexual problems are the focus of attention in the dream. A person only keeps on dreaming and has a restless night if there is a recurrent problem underlying the dream. In this case she seems to be upset with herself for her refusal of Solomon's late-night approach to sex. He had approached her after she was already in bed, and she had refused him; apparently she feels guilty about it. In the fantasy of her dreams, she imagines that she refused him, and after he left she could never find him. 5:2 SHULAMITH: A voice! My beloved was knocking: Open to me, my sister, my darling, My dove, my perfect one! For my head is drenched with dew, My locks with the damp of the night During some months in Palestine, dew falls so copiously that it saturates the clothes like rain (Judges 5:38). Solomon, apparently at an affair of state, comes to her bedroom in the dream and asks to make love. We know it is late at night because the dew has already begun to fall. It could be that in the dream she is thinking of herself as back at her country home. This at least makes the reference to dew and the opening in the window (5:4) easier to explain. But dreams are very subtle, and not too much should be made of this. As she dreams the scene shifts back to the streets of Jerusalem - an impossibility, of course, in real life. Now she gives two reasons why she is not interested in making love. 5:3 SHULAMITH: I have taken off my dress, How can I put it on again? If this seems like a strange reason to you for not making love, it seems strange to me also. She says she would have to put her robe on, get up and walk to the door, and open it. In effect, she's saying something like, "Oh Solomon, can't it wait? Can't you see that I'm tired and in bed?" Then she gives her second excuse. This time she gets religious about it. I have washed my feet, How can I dirty them again? The soiling of the feet was counted as a symbol of moral contamination from the petty transgressions of everyday life (John 13:10). They would often wash their feet ceremonially at night to symbolize their need for daily cleansing from sin, just as Jesus illustrated to His disciples (John 13:10).1 She is saying, "If I get up to let you in to make love, I'll get my feet dirty walking across the floor. Then 1 would have to wash them again before I could go back to bed." Now both of these statements are obviously excuses! "I'll have to put my bathrobe on, and I'll get my feet dirty!" What she's trying to convey to her late-night lover is that she's tired, already in bed, and just not in the mood. The dew suggests it's pretty late at night, about the time of the conclusion of "The Late Show" on TV. Shulamith now awakens thoroughly and finally begins to respond to Solomon's interests. 5:4 SHULAMITH: My beloved extended his hand through the opening, And my feelings were aroused for him. It was the ancient custom to secure the door of a house by a cross bar or by a bolt, which at night was fastened with a little button or pin.2 In the upperpart of the door, there was a round hole through which any person from the outside might thrust his arm and remove the bar, unless the hole was sealed up. As Shulamith saw Solomon's hand, she realized his desire for her, and she had guilt feelings about her lack of availability. Then she decided Solomon didn't have such a bad idea after all, and "her feelings were aroused for Him." 5:5 SHULAMITH: I arose to open to my beloved; And my hand dripped with myrrh, And my fingers with liquid myrrh, On the handles of the bolt. In the fantasy of the dream, she associates her husband's approaches toward her sexually with scented lotions. In their culture, a lover would leave this fragrant myrrh at the door as a sign he had been there.3 5:6 SHULAMITH: I opened to my beloved But my beloved had turned away and had gone! My heart went out to him... but 1 did not find him; I called him, but he did not answer me. In her dream she is grieved to see Solomon has left. He had come to make love (an inappropriate time, his fault); she refused him (her fault), and now he has left with wounded pride. There is nothing more deflating to a persons ego than to have one's mate continually reject his or her sexual advances. Her discovery that her husband has left compounds her guilt, and she now imagines that as she searches for him, the watchmen punish her. 5:7 SHULAMITH: The watchmen who make the rounds in the city found me, They struck me and wounded me; The guardsmen of the wails took away my shawl from me. As Shulamith dreams, she fancies herself out in the sheets of Jerusalem searching for Solomon after refusing him. Obviously, the watchmen would not in reality lay a hand on Solomon's queen, but this is a dream. The fact that the guards beat her may indicate she is plagued with guilt because of her rejection of Solomon. 5:8 SHULAMITH: I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, If you find my beloved, As to what to tell him: For I am lovesick. The exact chronology of this dream sequence is difficult to follow. There seems to be no definite agreement among commentators as to when the dream ends and reality resumes. It appears to me, however, that due to the shift in tone and personal address in 5:8, the dream is over and a new scene is introduced. The chorus and the Shulamite girl have a conversation pinpointing the implications of the dream and some keys to solving their problems. Others say the dream continues all the way to 6:3. It makes little difference, however, to our understanding of the main thrust of the poet's message. Thus, 5:8 could either be viewed as the conclusion of the dream (inserted by the poet to make a transition to the next scene), or as the introductory verse to the following scene. She addresses the imaginary, non-existent chorus, instructing them to help her locate Solomon and tell him she is "lovesick." This is the same word used in 2:5, and it carries the notion of being highly aroused sexually. The dream has now ended, but the powerful feeling of repentance and separation the dream left behind causes Shulamith to awaken, observe that Solomon is not beside her, and seek the aid of the chorus in finding him. The effects of the dream were so strong she remembers it as an actual experience. Apparently, the dream has set her desires in motion, for she awakens "lovesick." The chorus is to tell Solomon that Shulamith deeply desires to make love with him. This would obviously be inappropriate if the daughters of Jerusalem really existed. In this case, this literary device enables Shulamith to express herself when no one is there. As she awakes, she realizes her husband is away on affairs of state (Song 6:2-3). This causes her to reflect on the understanding she had before she married Solomon. She had counted the cost before they were married and had anticipated that separation could be a problem; she was not caught by surprise. Instead of reacting with bitterness or resentment, she designed a creative alternative that would meet her needs as well as Solomon's within the framework of life they had chosen. That alternative partly involved periodic vacations in the country (7:11). It seems apparent there is an intentional contrast with the dream of 3:1-4. In both dreams, Shulamith seeks her husband (3:3; 5:7). The first dream is just before the wedding night, and the second dream is just after it. In the first, she seeks her husband and finds him. In Chapter 5:2-8, she searches only to be beaten by the night watchmen. In the dream of separation, we find Shulamith longing for her husband; in the dream of love refused, the emphasis is on taking her husband's sexual interest for granted. This contrast serves to heighten the import of her rejection. COMMENT These passages illustrate that sexual adjustment is not automatic. Too often young married couples think they will get married and fall into bed and immediately experience a beautiful sexual relationship. The Bible realistically portrays that such is not always the case. One study revealed that marriage failures due to sexual problems could be as high as 75 to 80 percent.4 Several common problems relating to sexual adjustment in marriage are suggested here. Rejection The following letter is written in jest, humorously exposing the issue of rejection. "To My Loving Wife" During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded only 36 times; this is an average of once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often. It will wake the children ....27 times It's too late .... ...........23 times It's too hot .... ............16 times It's too cold ................ 5 times It's too early ...............15 times Pretended to be asleep........46 times Windows open, neighbors will hear ..........9 times Backache ....................26 times Headache .............. ......18 times Toothache ....................13 times Giggles .......................6 times Not in the mood.............. 36 times Too full ... .........:.......10 times Baby is crying ...............17 times Watched late TV show .........17 times I watched late TV show .......15 times Mud Pack .....................11 times Company in next room .........11 times You had to go to the bathroom ...........19 times TOTAL ........................329 times During the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not entirely satisfactory due to the following: 1. Six times you chewed gum during the whole time. 2. Seven times you watched TV the whole time. 3. Sixteen times you told me to hurry up and get it over with. 4. Six times I tried to wake you to tell you we were through. 5. One time I was afraid I had hurt you for I felt you move. Honey, it's no wonder I'm so irritable! YOUR LOVING HUSBAND This letter reveals that "rejection" can be both physical and psychological. It is just as much rejection of your mate to seem passively uninvolved as it is to actively reject. I read of one lady who gives her husband a check list of things she wants done around the house every Saturday morning. If he does everything on the list, he gets a "reward" Saturday night. Talk about rejection! That is psychological rejection. Note the command of Scripture: The husband should fulfil his married duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Cor.7:305). The Word here is quite strong. It is sin to reject your mate's sexual interests (actively or passively). This may seem harsh, but extensive counselling in numerous situations have borne this out in my experience. I have heard some of the most involved and sincere reasons for rejecting one's mate physically, but when we eventually got to the root of it, there was generally a problem of selfishness and sin somewhere. This passage gives only three conditions lawful under God for a married couple to abstain from regular sexual relations. (1) When there has been mutual consent (2) When it is only for a short period of time, and (3) When the purpose is to devote oneself to prayer. In the above letter, numerous excuses were offered for rejection, but prayer wasn't on the list. I don't know of anyone who has offered that reason to his mate! In this passage, Shulamith rejects her husband but the reverse situation is also common. The notion that men are always the ones interested in sex and women don't have a great need is not well-supported by recent studies. Miles, in a survey of 150 Christian couples, asked, "How often would you like to have intercourse and orgasms if you could have this experience every time you really wanted to?" The husbands replied they would like it every 2.7 days (average), and the wives every 3.2 days.5 Thus, there is virtually no difference revealed in this particular study. In fact, up until the modern era, it was women who were considered to have the greater sexual appetites.6 It is interesting that throughout the Song of Solomon and in 1 Cor.7 there seems to be an underlying assumption that there is no real difference in the sexual needs or drives between men and women. As far as the Bible speaks to the issue, a woman's need is viewed as equal with a man's. There are significant differences in psychological outlook, timing, and other factors, but the capacity and desire for sex is equal. Shulamith's rejection of solomon raises the question of "normal" frequency. One woman sputtered with defiant frustration to a counsellor, "Why my husband is so oversexed he would insist on making love to me at least twice a month if I'd let him." The couples Miles interviewed revealed they enjoyed intercourse to orgasm an average of 3.3 times per week. However, these statistics are really quite meaningless to a specific couple's situation. The issue is what is appropriate for your unique relationship and not some "national average." Based on 1 Cor. 7:3-5, Shirley Rice gives these dangers of rejecting your mate's sexual initiatives. (1) Your fellowship with the Lord is in jeopardy because it is a sin to violate a command of Scripture. (2) You relationship with your mate can be damaged or ruined. (3) You will perhaps tempt your mate to adultery through the resulting anger and frustration.8 One reason so many men appear to be obsessed with sex is because they get so little of it from their wives. If a man has not eaten in five days, every time he passes the refrigerator food is all he can think about. Like food, sex isn't the most important thing in life, but if you are not totally available, it can become an obsession to your husband. (The modern science fact is that men have about 10 TIMES more the sexual hormone than women. Surveys show that men think about sex about every one minute, while women about twice a day. One woman was given by mistake the male sex hormone that put her on the level of sexuality as the average man. She exclaimed, "How do men manage to function in the work-a-day world of women around them, having been given the male sex hormone by mistake, I could only think of sex, sex, sex, all day long!" - Keith Hunt) The reason for Shulamith's lack of sexual interest is simply that she was tired and already in bed. In a recent survey by Christian Family Life, 10 percent of the women indicated their number one sexual problem was tiredness.9 It is quite likely a much higher percentage would have listed tiredness had the question included the first, second, and third major problems. There are times a wife will be exhausted because of sick children, etc., and will perhaps be unable to climax. But as one loving wife put it, "she can still glory in pleasing her husband." If you are too tired to make love, there is nothing at all wrong with occasionally saying, "Honey, I just don't think I can climax tonight, but I'd love to make you happy." Then take him in your arms, give yourself to him, and whisper in his ear that you love him and are thrilled you can give him pleasure. Furthermore, he should not be made to feel selfish if he makes such a request. You are not being "used" when you respond in this way (unless he makes a regular habit of it). You are showing your self-giving love. Can't you just enjoy being in his arms? There is no rule that a wife must reach orgasm every time. The central issue in sexual love is not having an orgasm; rather it is sharing mutual love. Obviously, this kind of response would be a normal response in a vital and healthy marriage. However, if there are complex communication barriers, this response could seem foreign. The Problem of Late-Night Sex Solomon's late-night approach leaves much to be desired. Likewise, the late-night approach of many twentieth century husbands could stand some variation. Consider the following situation. Typical Elmer, the average American husband, comes home from work just about the same way he left that morning - sparkling conversation, amorous embrace and all. He enters, nods briefly to the kids, grunts to his wife, ask if there was anything in the mail and then lets his mind be stimulated by blankly staring at the six o'clock news. "Shhhh," his wife says to the children, "don't make any noise. Daddy is trying to watch TV." At exactly the right time, his wife tiptoes into the TV room and says, "Dear, dinner is ready." (Elmer gets very upset when his dinner isn't ready on time.) He shares the latest moves in the office games, and she describes the latest neighborhood gossip and the children's misbehaviors, Wow! Exciting evening! Elmer burps his way through dinner and then leaves his wife to clean up the kitchen, diaper the kids, do the laundry, vacuum the house, write letters to his parents, and she falls asleep totally exhausted about nine-thirty. In the meantime, Elmer dozes off in front of "Tuesday Night at the Movies." Suddenly, about 1:00 AM the "Star-Spangled Banner" jolts Elmer awake. He turns off the TV set, runs for his trusty javelin, dons his Roman toga, puts on a crown of ivy leaves, crashes into the bedroom and shouts, "Let the games begin." Elmer wants "play-time" before he goes "nite-nite" And of course she's supposed to be aroused and excited. Being very considerate, Elmer may even give her sixty seconds before "favoring" her with his "let's get down to business" virility. Good old hard-working Elmer just cant understand why his wife isn't passionately responding to his every initiative! And even if she submits to her 1:00 A.M. husband with his spur-of-the-moment big ideas, she isn't likely to throw herself into it with the greatest of ardor.10 Elmer is typical of many men who never seem to give their wives any attention until they want sex late at night. They demonstrate absolutely no involvement in their wives' problems or in their lives except when they are physically aroused. Page Williams cites a humorous conversation he had with a little boy. He had asked the little lad what his dad did for a living, and the boy replied, "He watches." Williams asked, "You mean he is a night watchman?" "Oh, no," the little boy exclaimed, "He just watches." "Well, what does he watch?" Williams asked. "I don't know if I can tell you everything," he continued "I can name a few things." "Well, tell me," Williams replied. "He watches TV, he watches Mom do the housework he watches for the paperboy, he watches the weather, and I think he watches girls, too," he said, with an impish grin on his face. "He watches the stock market, football games, all the sports, he watches mother spank us, and he watches us do our homework. He watches us leave to go to church and PTA and shopping. He watches my brother mow the lawn, and he watches me rake. He watches my sister clean up the dirty dishes, and he watches me play with my dog. He watches Mom pay the bills. He watches me a lot - but mainly he just watches," said the little fellow, with a note of sadness in his voice. If you are a "typical Elmer" or a "watcher" don't expect much of a response sexually from your wife. (YES, IT IS TIME MEN GOT A LIFE, AS THEY SAY, AND GOT TO KNOW WHAT GOD WANTS A MAN TO BE IN THE HOME, AND SEXUALLY WITH THEIR WIVES. THERE ARE BOOKS UPON BOOKS TODAY ON THE NITTY-GRITTY OF BEING A REAL MAN - A MAN OF GOD, BOTH IN THE PHYSICAL REALM AND THE SPIRITUAL REALM, AND BEING THE RIGHT KIND OF LEADER IN THE HOME. TIME MEN TO TURN OFF THE TV AND GET OFF YOUR BACK-SIDE AND PITCH IN WITH ALL THE DUTIES THAT MARRIAGE AND CHILDREN DEMAND - Keith Hunt) Solomon may not have been a "watcher," but he definitely needed some instruction on some appropriate times to approach his wife. I don't know if anyone has made a study of it, but my guess is that 90 percent or more of the times most couples make love are late at night after everything is done. They've eaten a full meal, cleaned up the kitchen, read the newspaper, helped the children with homework, discussed the family budget and stared blankly at the tube for three hours. Then they fall into bed for five or ten minutes of "ho-hum" sex followed immediately by snoring. After several years of this, sex "is just not that important to us." The vitality and spark of their sexual love is lost. A gynecologist in Houston counsels young brides, "Never under any circumstances make love to your husband after 7:00 at night" This is an exaggeration, but Solomon could have profited from this information. A late-night routine can kill sexual love. While many lovemaking experiences can "just happen," some of the most meaningful often are pre-planned. A phone call to your wife letting her know you love her and would like to set the evening aside for making love will go a long way toward getting her in the mood. A lingering good-bye kiss in the morning lets her know how much you'd rather stay home with her than go to work, and goes miles toward setting up an interesting evening. While it's true Solomon was inconsiderate in his approach, her reaction is inspiring. Instead of sitting around feeling resentful, accusing him of wanting to "use her," and turning off sexually, she begins to work on her attitudes and actions. In Song 5:9-6:3 we see a decisive change of attitude, and in Song 7:1-13 we see a decisive change of action. FOOTNOTES 1. Otto Zockler, "The Song of Song" (Lange's s Commentary, 12 Vols; Grand Rapids; Zondervan, 1960), V 103. 2.Ibid., V, 103. 3. S.Craig Glickman, " Song for Lovers" (Downers Grove: Inter- Verity, 1976), p. 63. 4. "Dallas Times Herald," Nov.12, 1973, p.6-B. 5. Herbert Miles, "Sexual Happiness, in Marriage" (Grand Rapids: Zondevan, 1967), p.137. 6 Professor N. Junks, "Sex and Love Today" (New York: Vala, 1970), p.125. 7. Miles, p.137. 8. Shirley Rice, "Physical Unity in Marriage" (Norfolk: Tabernacle Church of Norfolk, 7120 Granby St., Norfolk, Va. 23505, 19731, p.7-8. 9. Survey compiled by Christian Family Life, 9210 Markville, Dallas, Texas, 75231. 10. This illustration was adapted from a book by Lois Bird, Doubleday, Inc. Pub. 11. H. Page Williams, "Do Yourself A Favor, Love Your Wife" (Plainfield: Logos International, 1973), p.5. .......................... To be continued with "Solving Sexual Problems"

STATS - NOON SABBATH IN ALBERTA, CANADA

 

Top Locations

Brazil	5,164
Iraq	1,823
Bangladesh	1,288
Argentina	1,189
United States	1,167
Vietnam	1,135
Chile	1,105
India	993
Pakistan	883
France	770
Mexico	770
Colombia	767
Saudi Arabia	733
Venezuela	690
Türkiye	689
Indonesia	686
Spain	684
Tunisia	680
Canada	618
Other	13,387

Brazil

5.16K

Iraq

1.82K

Bangladesh

1.29K

Argentina

1.19K

United States

1.17K

Vietnam

1.14K

Chile

1.11K

India

993

Pakistan

883

France

770

Mexico

770

Colombia

767

Saudi Arabia

733

Venezuela

690

Türkiye

689

Indonesia

686

Spain

684

Tunisia

680

Canada

618

Other

13.4K