Solomon on Sex #3
In the Bridal Chamber
We continue here with Mr.Dillows fine commentry on the true meaning of Solomon's Song. CHAPTER THREE IN THE BRIDAL CHAMBER (Reflection #3, Song 1:15-2:7) CONTEXT The royal couple has left the wedding banquet and has retired to the bridal suite. In the ancient world, it was customary for a king to build a special bedroom for his new bride. As they enter the bridal chamber, Solomon begins his lovemaking to his wife with praise (1:15). She responds with greater praise (1:16-2:1). Solomon tops her praise of him (2:2) and she then outdoes his praise of her (2:3). Thus the lovers are mutually extolling one another's charms with increasingly powerful descriptions of one another 's beauty. It seems evident that this increasing level of praise is intended by the author to reflect the increasing level of their passion as their lovemaking progresses. This must be the intent because the end product of these praises is a request by Shulamith to be refreshed with raisin cakes and apples (erotic symbols) a reference to lovesickness (sexual passion), and a request to be embraced (fondled 2:5-6). Before going on to comment on the text itself, I think it would be appropriate to pause a moment and lay out some of the reasons for understanding these first three reflections as occurring on the wedding day and night. Anticipation and fulfillment There seems to be a theme of anticipation and fulfillment within the first three reflections. In 1:1-5 she longs to be in the bedroom with her husband and in 1:15-2:7 we find them in the bridal chamber. In 1:3,4 she desires the king's caresses and in 2:6 she receives them. She anticipated sexual intercourse in 1:4 and experienced it in 2:4-6. This anticipation and longing for her lover is highly appropriate for he wedding day but would violate the entire ethic of the Song (as well as the rest of the Scriptures) if these reflections described pre-marital events. Thus, the longing and fulfillment motif seems to unite these first three reflections into a single unit describing the wedding day. The banquet table This reference to a banquet table (1:12) fits very naturally with a wedding banquet since this is a book about courtship, wedding, and marriage. It is therefore improbable that any common banquet would be meant. The sexual intimacies described There are many allusions to sexual intimacies that would be wholly inappropriate to a pre-marital scene. In 2:6 she requests that Solomon "embrace" her. Most Hebrew scholars agree this means to "stimulate sexually, or fondle." Kramer notes an interesting parallel phrase in second millennium B.C. love poems. In the Sumuzl-Inanna love romance we find the phrase, "Your right hand you have placed on my vulva; Your left, stroked my head." The parallelism seems too direct to be coincidental. She also says she is "lovesick." This is a reference to high sexual passion. Furthermore, raisin cakes and apples are frequently connected with sexual arousal. The great Hebrew scholar Jastrow comments, "The raisin is again because of its sweetness, an erotic symbol, like the apple in the following line to suggest that the lovesick maiden can be rescued from her languishing condition only by the caresses and embraces of her lover." In 1:2 she describes in anticipation (daydreaming) her husband's love skill. His love is "going to be" sweeter than wine. The word for love here is sometimes used to mean sexual love. The banquet hall In 2:4 Shulamith comments that the king has brought her "to his banquet hall." The Hebrew literally translates, "house of wine." Every banquet of pleasure and joy in the Hebrew idiom is, as we have noted, called by the name "wine." The "house of wine" was a common oriental reference to the bridal chamber. Thus, the text places us in the wedding night. Her sexual awakening In Song 8:5, which occurs years later, Solomon and Shulamfth pass an apple tree as they walk along a country road. He comments that it was there that she was first "awakened" - introduced into the joys of marred sexual love. The awakening is associated in 8:4 and 2:6 with "fondling." In 2:6 Shulamith requests that "... his right hand embrace me," and then warns against the careless "awakening" of love in the following verse (2:7). Similarly, after requesting that "his right hand embrace" her in 8:3, she refers again to the careless "awakening" of love in 8:4. Then Solomon says it was under the apple tree where he awakened her (8:5). This association with physical fondling suggests the "awakenings" in this book refer to that of sexual passion. Furthermore, this verb is used to mean a "violent awakening" whenever it is found in this form (Deut.32:11). The word translated "awake" is used at least once in the Old Testament in awakening of sexual passion (Hos.7:4). The only other place in the book there is reference to her being awakened under the apple tree is Song 2:3. If 8:5 explains Song 2:3 to be a sexual awakening, this probably places the first three reflections on the wedding night. Having suggested this chronological order, let's take a look at the beauty of their first night together. First, a basic commentary provides information on the meaning of the symbols and then some comments are made which are applicable to twentieth century marriage. COMMENTARY The scene that follows becomes more and more intimate as the bride and groom leave the wedding banquet and proceed to the bridal chamber. Although this is not explicitly stated, it is implied in 1:16 when she comments on the luxurious bed they are lying on. They have moved from the table (1:12) to the bed (1:18). 1:15 SOLOMON: How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! Your eyes are like doves. The dove is a symbol of innocence and purity; the appearance of the eyes an index of character. Hence Solomon says she is beautiful and pure - a virgin. 1:16 SHULAMITH: How handsome you are, my beloved, And so pleasant! Indeed our couch is Iuxuriant! The fact that the Hebrew word for bed comes form a verb meaning "to cover" suggests that originally a bed was considered a covered or canopied couch. Certainly the canopied bed was common with Ancient Near Eastern Monarchs. Numerous illustrations in Egyptian wall paintings of this era depict a canopy over the bed of the Pharoah and his wife. At any rate, the richest man in the world would fashion a bed from the most luxurious material available, probably satin a silk. 1:17 SHULAMITH: The beams of our houses are cedars, Our rafters, cypresses. As Shulamith lies on the luxurious couch, she observes Solomon's thoughtful preparation in constructing the bridal chamber. Because she comes from a rural background, Solomon has apparently outdone himself to construct a bedroom that would remind her of the open air and the country that she loved. Its cedar-beamed ceiling and cypress rafters create a separate world for them to enjoy away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Solomon constructed much of his palace with cedar beams from Lebanon (1 Kings 7:1-12). Furthermore, he built a separate house for his wife. Lebanon, Shulamith's home, is above all famous for its dense forest cover. These mighty cedars have become symbols of majesty and pride in biblical imagery. These cedars and conifers furnished the finest building timber in the ancient East and were sought by the rulers of Egypt, Mesopotamia, and Syria-Palestine. The most celebrated of such deliveries was that sent to Solomon by Hiram of Tyre for the temple in Jerusalem (1 Kings 5:6-9). Solomon probably used some of this very timber to construct the bridal chamber. 2:1 SHULAMITH: I am the rose of Sharon, The lily of the valleys. She likens herself to a tender flower that has grown up in the quietness of rural life. Sharon is a region between Tabor and the Sea of Galilee in the neighborhood of Nazareth where Jesus grew up in northern Galliee (1 Chron.5:16). The rose of Sharon was a flesh-colored meadow flower with a leafless stem which, when the grass was mown, appeared by the thousands in the warmer regions. Humbly describing herself as a meadow flower, she had understandable fears of being out of place, a common meadow flower in King Solomon's palace. The lily of the valley is a beautiful red flower commonly found in Palestine. She thinks humbly of herself in comparison to the king and alludes to herself as a common country girl. 2:2 SOLOMON: Like a lily among the thoms, So is my darling among the maidens. Solomon takes up the comparison and gives its notable turn. He says all the other maidens in Jerusalem are as thorns compared to her. As Shulamith entered the splendor of the palace she had apparently been struck by the beauty of the "maidens," the palace pretties. But Solomon says her nobility of character and virgin purity set her above all the sophisficated court ladies who have spent their lives "caring for their own vineyards." 2:3 SHULAMITH: Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, So is my beloved among young men. The tempo of their lovemaking has increased; they are now actively involved in their love play. Shulamith praises the erotic and sensual lovemaking ability of her husband. The apple tree is a very frequent symbol in the Near East for sexual love. In the Egyptain love song, "Song of the City of Memphis," a man says to his lover, "Her breasts are like mandrake apples." Gordis, the Jewish commentator observes, "Raisin cakes, which were used in fertility rites (cf. Hos. 3:1), served like the apples as an erotic symbol on the subconscious level." Zockler also sees the apple tree as a symbol of sexual passion: "... just as the sweet fruit of the apple tree serves to represent his agreeable caresses." The apple tree is used throughout the Song as a symbol for sexual love (cf. 8:5). In effect, then, Shulamith is telling Solomon what a skillful lover he is. He is an apple tree, skilled at making love. 2:3b SHULAMITH: In his shade I took great delight and sat down, And his fruit was sweet to my taste. As she sits (presumably on cushions in the bedroom) beneath Solomon's shadow - cast perhaps from a lamp in the room, she delightfully "tastes his fruit" Several different interpretations have been given for this phrase. Some have said it refers to being refreshed by his presence as an apple refreshes a weary traveler. However, in view of the obviously erotic nature of the symbols (raisin cakes, apples) and the context ("Let his left hand 'fondle' me), this seems unlikely. Others have seen it as a reference to the sweet taste of his words and works which make a happy impression on the one who experiences them. Others see the sweet fruit of the apple tree as a symbol of his caresses. In other words, she "tastes" his sexual embrace. In extra-biblical literature, "fruit" is sometimes equated with the male genitals - or with semen, so it is possible that here we have a faint and delicate reference to an oral genital caress. At any rate, it seems to speak of the intense sexual enjoyment they share. 2:4 SHULAMITH: He has brought me into his banquet hall And his banner over me is love. As mentioned above, the "banquet hall" was a common oriental expression for the bridal chamber. The banner of a king was a long pole with a cloth attached like a flag. It spoke of the king's protective care. As Shulamith sits in Solomon's shade (protective care), she immediately associates his "banner" with his love, since his love provides security, care and protection. 2:5 SHULAMITH: Sustain me with raisin cakes, Refresh me with apples, Because I am lovesick. The phrase "I am lovesick" is literally "I am sick with love." She means that at this point in their lovemaking she is completely overcome with sexual desire. In order to alleviate the "lovesickness" she requests that Solomon sustain her with raisin cakes and apples (symbols of erotic love). In other words, she asks him to satisfy her sexually without delay! 2:6 SHULAMITH: Let his left hand be under my head, And his fight hand embrace me. Shulamith tells her husband exactly what she wants him to do in order to alleviate her lovesickness, or sexual passion. As they lie on the couch she requests that his left hand be placed under her head and his right hand embrace her. Delitzsch says the Hebrew word means "to fondle." She desires him to fondle and stimulate her by touching her body. The description of the consummation of their love in sexual intercourse is reserved for a later section (4:16-5:1). 2:7 SHULAMITH: I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, By the gazelles or by the hinds of the field. That you will not arouse or awaken (my) love Until (she) pleases. At this point the reflection abruptly ends with this warning addressed to the chorus, here personified as the daughters of Jerusalem. Remember they are a literary device, not a real group of people. Here they provide an "audience" to hear the warning. The words in parentheses are not in the original Hebrew and should be omitted. A proper translation would be: "That you will not arouse or awaken love until it pleases." Gordis convincingly demonstrates that the oath taken "by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field" parallels the flsting in some of the biblical books such as Esther and Ecclesiastes in which an attempt was made to avoid the mention of the Divine name. Hence, Shulamith replaces the customary oath "by the Lord of Hosts" or "by the Almighty" with a similar sounding phrase in Hebrew, "by the gazelles or the hinds of the field" choosing animals which symbolize love. It is likely that the Septuagint retained some recognition of Shulamith's oath by rendering the unique Hebrew phrase as "in (or by) the powers and the forces of the field." The phrase "that you will not arouse or awaken love until it pleases" is difficult and has been interpreted in various ways. It has been suggested the statement is a warning against forcing love to develop prematurely; it should develop naturally. However, there are no indications in the entire story of either her or Solomon attempting to "force" the relationship to develop. Delitzsch sees it as Shulamith's plea to the daughters of Jerusalem not to interrupt their embrace. While this makes good sense in the context, it requires an unlikely translation of the verb "awake." Delitzsch would translate, "That ye arouse not and disturb not love Till she pleases." Robert Gordis suggests, "Do not disturb love while it is passionate, lit. 'while it desires.' Again, the Hebrew word means "awaken" and not "disturb." It seems more probable the passage is a warning against the awakening of sexual passion before "it pleases." Schonfield translates, "Do not wake, do not quicken passion, Before it is ready to stir." This view is defended by Zcckler. He says Shulamith is giving a stray warning to the court ladies that they are not to plunge rashly and unbidden into the passion of love, that is to say, not before love awakens of itself ("till heart is joined to heart, till God Himself gives you an affection for the right man'). Although there are numerous other Scriptures that warn against premarital intercourse (1 Cor.6:19), this passage seems slightly different. It is a warning against the arousal of sexual passion with anyone other than the person you feel God has definitely led you to marry. Sexual passion is not to be aroused until "it pleases" - until it is appropriate. While there is still some ambiguity about the phrase "it pleases" and one cannot be dogmatic about the meaning, this interpretation seems preferable for several reasons. (1) The theme of pre-marital chastity is stressed in several other places in the Song, and its virtues are praised (Song 4:12,8:8-12). This interpretation of the warning thus fits well with a major theme. (2) As demonstrated previously, the "awakenings" are most likely sexual awakenings. Furthermore, she was sexually awakened "under the apple tree" while in the "house of wine" (the bridal chamber) according to 8:5 and 2:3-6. Since in the context immediately preceeding the warning not to awaken love, Solomon and Shulamith are in the "house of wine" and she is being "embraced" it would seem that the natural connection would be the sexual awakening just described. Thus, the text becomes a warning against doing what Solomon and Shulamith have just done (made love), until "it pleases," (until a couple enters their own house of wine or bridal chamber). (3) This interpretation explains two similar passages in the book. In all three cases the warning is not only connected with a physical embrace, but it comes at the conclusion of a sequence of reflections which leads naturally to a warning concerning a major theme of the book (pre-marital chastity). These passages, 3:5 and 8:4, will be discussed in the commentary to follow. COMMENT Bedroom atmosphere As Shulamith gazes upon the cedar beamed ceiling in the new bridal chamber (1:17) she must feel touched by Solomon's creativity and thoughtfulness. Where does cedar grow in Palestine? In Lebanon! Solomon was trying to do something any married couple should consider: creating a bedroom with atmosphere. Their bedroom created a "world-apart" atmosphere to which they could escape. Many wives decorate their bedrooms as if they were trying to impress the neighbors rather than create an atmosphere for their married love. On the other hand, some wives spend hours decorating the living room, kitchen, and the children's rooms. But "no one will see the bedroom," they say, so why spend all that time and money? Your husband will see! Have you even considered creating an atmosphere conducive to romance for you and your husband? In many homes, the bedroom becomes the household "garbage dump." When guests come for dinner, all the unfolded laundry, clothes baskets, and other debris is cast behind the bedroom door so the living room appears spotless. On a daily bass the average bedroom is often cluttered with perfume bottles, hair spray cans decorate the dresser tops, and if there is a desk, don't open it or the entire contents will spill out onto the floor. REAL ATMOSPHERE! Many things could be done to enhance your bedroom's romantic atmosphere. Some couples like fur bedspreads and a wood-beamed ceiling. A number of couples have testified to the new vitality introduced to their love life by a water bed. Others prefer a four-posted bed and softly quilted comforter; some desire a coordinated effect with matching drapes, wallpaper and bedspread. What you like is what is right for you! Together you should decide what you would like your love hide-a-way to look like and then get busy making it just that! Solomon's and Shulamith's bed was no doubt covered with silk sheets. While that is financially out of range for the average couple unless they are a king and queen, satin sheets add a delightful feel to the bedroom atmosphere and are not prohibitive cost-wise. Reserve them for "special occasions" (like when your husband comes home from a lengthy trip). There is no reason why bed room lighting has to be plain old white light bulbs. If you have extra colored bulbs, such as red, amber, or blue, in the nightstand drawer, you can change the entire atmosphere of your love hide-a-way with a simple change of color. Candlelight is also a fun illumination in the bedroom. Anyone looks better by candlelight, and what better time to look your best? A scented candle adds an extra touch. Ferns and other plants provide a relaxing, warm atmosphere. Music can be a real addition to your bedroom atmosphere. Why not channel the stereo into your love hide-a-way? One man I know recently surprised his wife by bringing her home after a date into a bedroom in which the stereo was playing some romantic music and the room was lit by scented candles. They began to dance to the music and share their love. As they danced they gradually disrobed one another and danced and talked in the nude for about thirty minutes before making love. It is this kind of sensitivity and romance that brings the spiritual dimension of the intimacy of a relationship into the sexual experience. Too many husbands tend to divorce the physical aspect of their relationship from a total spiritual and psychological intimacy. Privacy is very important to a romantic bedroom. If at all possible the master bedroom of your house should be very isolated from the rest of the house. A lock on the bedroom door is very important to most wives; total privacy is a key factor in reducing any inhibitions. Both Solomon and his Shulamite bride need a retreat they can enjoy together to escape from the pressures around them. Solomon needs an escape from the pressures of state, and his bride needs the same in view of the pressures involved in being a queen. Your husband needs an escape from the pressures of work, and you need a retreat from your work or from the children. She praised her husband's love skill When in 2:3 Shulamith says, "Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men," she is complimenting Solomon on his skill in making love. Would that many twentieth century wives were as wise! Frequently in the marriage counseling room a wife will complain that her husband is routine, unimaginative, and unromantic in his lovemaking. A basic principle in getting him to improve is to emphasize what he does right - not what he does wrong! Skill in lovemaking is probably more intimately connected with a man's sense of masculine identity than a woman's skill is related to her feminine identity. It is much easier for a woman to establish a sense of sexual identity than for a man. The basic biological functions of menstruation, breast development, changes in bodily form, nursing and bearing children, establish this at an early age. The man, on the other hand, has only one basic biological identity point as far as masculinity is concerned: his success in lovemaking. This is not to say this defines masculinity biblically - not at all! But it does explain a nearly universally observed difference between men and women. A man can only establish his identity by doing something. The woman, on the other hand, receives her identity passively as her native biological functions mark her so dearly. Some have suggested this is a biological reason why males tend toward aggressive behavior and females lean toward more passive behavior. Thus certainly seems to be some truth in this even though there is no biblical comment on it. If this is true, it helps explain why a man's sense of masculinity is so intensely tied to his success as a lover. It is extremely important to most men that they feel successful in giving their wives sexual fulfillment. If he feels like a sexual failure, it can spill into many other areas of the marriage. This is why impotence or even premature ejaculation can be a crushing thing for a man. He takes a lack of response from his wife in a personal way that many wives fail to understand. When she doesn't express interest equal to his, he thinks she considers him a failure as a man. He has not succeeded in a male function that uniquely defines him as a male. Since a woman doesn't need sexual intercourse to define her as female, she might view her husband's reactions to her lack of interest as "childish." If you want your husband to act like a man, make him feel like one! Continually compliment him on what a good lover he is. Anything he does right, let him know! Furthermore, pray that the Lord will give you a response pattern that perfectly complements your man. The extent to which you can make him feel like a success in his lovemaking affects his aggressiveness and self-confidence in the business world, his sense of masculinity, and his motivation to take over spiritual leadership in the home! What are the limits? My wife recently taught a seminar to about two hundred women on this subject of "How to be a Creative Counterpart." The last one and one-half hours of this two-day seminar deal with the biblical view of sex in marriage. At the conclusion of the session, she passed out slips of paper and asked the women to write down any unanswered questions they didn't feel she had covered. One lady asked, "What are the limits God sets on sexual play between a husband and a wife? How far should I let my husband go?" Her use of the word "let" is a sad comment on the vitality of their sexual life. (It kind of reminds you of high school, doesn't it?) It implies she is the keeper of the "sacredness" of sex while valiantly resisting the unsacred pressure of her husband. But her question often comes up. Three biblical principles would be helpful for each couple in setting their own "limits." First, unselfish love must be the motive. This is clearly the thrust of 1 Cor.13:4-7. Love turns to lust when a man or woman is obsessed by a particular form of sexual expression, when he or she can no longer be happy without it. I'm speaking here of forms of sexual expression other than sexual intercourse, such as the oral genital love mentioned above (2:3). Paul says, "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me - but I will not be mastered by anything:' (1 Cor.6:12). There is another aspect of the notion of unselfish love. Is your motive simply to use your mate for your own pleasure, or is your motive to bring him, or her, pleasure? Ask yourself that question the next time you want to insist on a particular form of sexual expression that does not appeal to your mate. Secondly, it must be based on mutual agreement. Consider Phil. 2:1-4 in this regard: If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.... Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. I once taught a Bible study on the Song of Solomon and after hearing my exposition of Song 2:3, one husband went home to his wife and said, "There! It's in the Bible so now you must do it!" He had totally missed the point. The fact that some particular form of sexual expression is found in Scripture does not make it right for every couple. This will be stressed over and over again throughout the pages of this book. The issue is mutual agreement. The Bible is silent as to the question of limits. Each husband and wife are free before the Lord to work out pleasurable and meaningful forms of sexual play as long as they are within general biblical principles. Many of the characteristics of Solomon's and Shulamith's relationship simply would not be in "character" for your relationship. Fine. God doesn't ask anyone to be something they are not. He does, however, ask us to work on our negative attitudes and try to be what our mate wants within the limits of our own personality. Thus, everything in this book will not apply to everyone. The third biblical criterion for "limits" is quite simply, mutual submission. This seems an appropriate application of Eph. 5:21, "... and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ." While sexual relationships are certainly not in Paul's mind when he makes this statement, would not this verse apply here also? If it does, then a basis of limits would be your mate's desires. If a wife prefers certain forms of sexual expression and her husband is hesitant or unwilling to meet her needs, he should work on his attitudes. Likewise, a wife who refuses to consider some particular form of sexual expression desired by the husband violates this principle of "mutual submission." Obviously, our submission to Christ is not a "duty" but is in a spirit of joyful obedience. Once the great breadth of biblical "limits" are realized, it is proper to work on one's inner attitude to become all your mate desires. Obviously, immoral activities like wife-swapping are excluded from this principle of "mutual submission" by numerous other Scriptures. They had a freedom of communication A lady came in for counseling concerning some of the physical aspects of her marriage. Her concern was that in twenty years of marriage, she had never had an orgasm. The counselor's first question was, "Have you and your husband ever really talked about this?" "No," she replied. "Well, have you ever explained to your husband exactly what you would like him to do to stimulate you?" "No," she said, with quite a bit of emotion. "Why not?" the counselor probed. "Well, we just don't talk about it." This dear lady had been experiencing twenty years of tension because "we just don't talk about it." She had been doubting herself as a woman and her husband doubted himself as a man because he wasn't able to bring his wife to an orgasm. Untold hurt, emotional pain, and frozen communication barriers had been experienced all because "we just don't talk about it." (In Appendix 1, some helpful suggestions are given from a biblical and medical viewpoint toward overcoming orgasmic dysfunction, but communication based on mutual love and understanding is foundational.) Notice the lovers in this chapter are very vocal in describing one another's charms (1:15,16), in describing the sexual pleasure the other is giving (2:3-5), and in describing what they want each other to do to stimulate them (2:6). Your partner may not know what you like unless you tell him or her. Don't keep your mate guessing, upset because he or she doesn't please you as you would like. Tell your mate exactly what pleases you, and let your mate take it from there. Do not awaken sexual passion until "it pleases" Shulamith does an amazing thing from the point of view of today's attitudes about sex. She emphatically warns the daughters of Jerusalem not to become sexually involved with any man other than the one they intend to marry. This warning for maintaining chastity is repeated in 3:5 and 8:4; thus we know God wants us to pay special attention to it. Why is the warning regarding pre-marital sex interjected here, in the midst of the love scene? Possibly because as she describes the beauty and freedom of love on the wedding night, she associates that freedom with pre-marital chastity. Thus a beautiful ethical setting for their wedded love is provided. Sexual love is only intended for one partner - the one God leads you to marry - and no one else. As an orthodox Jewish girl she was raised in a home where pre-marital chastity was stressed (4:12, 8:8-12), yet she seems to have nothing but a healthy, positive attitude about sex in marriage. Sex education in the home is often an attitude communicated by the parents rather than actual information or rules regarding sexual behavior. Thus, a home with very specific standards will not produce children with negative attitudes about sex as long as the attitudes on sex and the spirit of the physical relationship between the parents is healthy. A child often picks up attitudes about sex from the spirit emitted by the parents. It seems some evangelical Christians need to readjust their attitudes on sex along biblical lines. Not long ago an evangelical magazine had a cover photo of a young husband and his pregnant wife walking together down a beach. Believe it or not, many letters came to the editor expressing moral indignation and shock, threatening to cancel their subscriptions. The cover was considered "suggestive." When another magazine described a major denomination's report on sexuality, which included an affirmation that sex is fun, a woman wrote in to imply it was virtual blasphemy to call sex "fun" when God meant it to be "sacred." Unfortunately some Christian wives tend to view sex as a duty, as something to be endured as part of being submissive to their husbands. They would never call sex evil because they believe the Bible and know God created sex. But, on the other hand, to call it 'joy' is just too much. Therefore, they settle on the word "sacred," at the same fime giving the impression it a something highly undesirable, a hush-hush subject one doesn't talk or think about. The Song of Solomon calls for some radical rethinking of the "Christian" view of sex in marriage. In this beautiful love story the twentieth century couple can find many points of contact with their marriage experience. Let's turn our attention in the next chapter to a Christian view of engagement as we glimpse Shulamith's reflections of their date life. ................... To be continued with "A Time for Preporation." Entered on my Website June 2007 |
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