USA Government Garbage!!

I think everyone on earth (those with TVs and Computer and iPads and Radio) know the situation the USA economy is in since 2008, and all the millions out of work and houses they have lost etc. If that was not enough Mark Steyn in his block-buster book "After America - get ready for Armageddon" (which every elected politician should have to read) gives us some crazy out-from planet Pluto, examples of USA Government Garbage and Bureaucratic Bloopers.

Quote:

One morning, I strolled into my office in New Hampshire and noticed a letter on my assistant's desk from the State of New York's Bureau of Compliance informing us that we were in non-compliance with the Bureau of Compliance.

This was news to me. I don't live in New York, I don't own a business in New York, I don't make anything in New York, I don't sell anything in New York, I rarely visit New York except to fly in once in a while and catch a Broadway show (which I'll now be doing on its out-of-town try-out in New Haven). Nevertheless, the State of New York had notified me that I was in non-compliance with the Bureau of Compliance, and apparently the fine for that is $14,000.

"Fourteen grand?" I roared to my lawyer. "On principle, I'd rather go to jail and be gang-raped by whichever bunch of convicted Albany legislators I have the misfortune to be sharing a cell with."

"I take it then you don't want to settle?"

No, sir. I'm proud to be in non-compliance with the Bureau of Compliance. I've put it on my business card. Still, I was interested to read this a few days later in the New York Times:

Albany - As Gov. David A. Paterson calls lawmakers back to work on the budget this week, he has announced that the fiscal situation is so serious that he must begin laying off state workers. But there is one wrinkle, as officials try to pare government spending: No one knows for sure how big the state work force actually is.

Oh, my. You'd think that that would also be in non-compliance with the Bureau of Compliance, wouldn't you? But no, it's just business as usual. They can audit you, but no one can audit them. You have to comply with them, but they don't have to comply with them. The Times attempted to get some ballpark figures from the hundreds of state agencies; a few provided employment numbers, but others "seemed unaccustomed to public inquiry," as the newspaper tactfully put it.

Why wouldn't they be? Government accounting is a joke. In one year (2009), Medicare handed out $98 billion in improper or erroneous payments. A tenth of a trillion? Ha! Rounding error. Look for it in the line items under "Miscellaneous." For an accounting fraud of $567 million, Enron's executives went to jail, and its head guy died there. For an accounting fraud ten times that size, the two Democrat hacks who headed Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Franklin Raines and Jamie Gorelick, walked away with a combined taxpayer-funded payout of $116.4 million. Fannie and Freddie are two of the largest businesses in America, but they're exempt from SEC disclosure rules and Sarbanes-Oxley "corporate governance" burdens, and so in 2008, unlike Enron, WorldCom, or any of the other reviled private-sector bogeymen, they came close to taking down the entire global economy. What then is the point of the SEC?.....

AS UNAMERICAN AS APPLE PIE

On the first Friday of Lent 2009, a state inspector from the Pennsylvania Department of Agriculture raided the fish fry at St. Cecilia's Catholic Church in Rochester. He had been there for his annual inspection of the church's kitchen, but, while going about his work, he espied an elderly parishioner unwrapping some pies.

He swooped. Would these by any chance be homemade pies? Sergeant Joe Pieday wasn't taking no for an answer. The perps fessed up:

Josie Reed had made her pumpkin pie. Louise Humbert had made her raisin pie. Mary Pratte had made her coconut cream pie. And Marge Murtha had made her farm apple pie. And, by selling their prohibited substances for a dollar a slice, these ladies and their accomplices were committing a criminal act. In the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, it is illegal for 88-year-old Mary Pratte to bake a pie in her kitchen for sale at a church fundraiser. The inspector declared that the baked goods could not be sold. St. Cecilia's holds a fish fry every Friday during Lent, and regular church suppers during the rest of the year. That's a lot of pie to forego. What solutions might there be? The inspector informed the ladies they could continue baking pies at home if each paid a $35 fee for him to come 'round to her home and certify her kitchen as state-compliant. "Well, that's just ridiculous;" Louise Humbert, seventy-three, told the Wall Street Journal.

Alternatively, they could bake their pies in the state-inspected kitchen at the church. As anyone who bakes pies, as opposed to regulating them, could tell the inspector, if you attempt to replicate your family recipe in a strange oven, it doesn't always turn out like it should.

A local bakery stepped in and donated some pies. But that's not really the same, is it? Perhaps a more inventive solution is required. In simpler times, Sweeney Todd, purveyor of fine foodstuffs to Mrs. Lovett's pie shop in Fleet Street, would have been proposing we drop the coconut cream and replace it with state-inspector pie, perhaps with a lattice crust, symbolizing the prison bars he ought to be behind. Problem solved. Easy as pie, as we used to say.

Instead, bye bye, Miss American Pie.....

Seven-year-old Julie Murphy was selling lemonade in Portland, Oregon, when two officers demanded to see her "temporary restaurant license." Which would have cost her $120. When she failed to produce it, they threatened her with a $500 fine, and also made her cry." Perhaps like the officers of Saudi Arabia's mutaween (the "Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices") the cheerless scolds of Permitstan could be issued with whips and scourges to flay the sinners in the street. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade - and then watch the state enforcers turn it back into sour fruit......

That moment has now arrived. Thanks to computer technology, it's easier than ever to subject the state's subjects to "a uniform set of regulations." Back in the 1990s, Bill Clinton famously said, "The era of Big Government is over." What we have instead is the era of lots and lots of itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy morsels of small government that cumulatively add up to something bigger than the Biggest Government of all - a web of micro- tyrannies which, in their overbearing pettiness, ensnare you at every turn.

Marge Murtha can make an apple pie. What can a regime that criminalizes such a pie make? That's easy: Big Government makes small citizens. Like to mull that thought over a cup o' joe? Sorry, I'd love to offer you one, but it's illegal. With its uncanny ability to prioritize, California, land of Golden Statism for unionized bureaucrats, is cracking down on complimentary coffee. From the Ventura County Star.

Ty Brann likes the neighborly feel of his local hardware store. The fourth-generation Ventura County resident and small business owner has been going to the B & B Do it Center on Mobile Avenue in Camarillo for many years.... So when he learned the county had told B & B it could no longer put out its usual box of doughnuts and coffee pot for the morning customers, Brann was taken aback.

Dunno why. He lives in California. He surely knows by now everything you enjoy is either illegal or regulated up the wazoo. The Collins family had been putting a coffee pot on the counter for fifteen years, as the previous owners of the store had done, too, and yea, back through all the generations. But in California that's an illegal act. The permit mullahs told Randy Collins that he needed to install stainless steel sinks with hot and cold water and a prep kitchen to handle the doughnuts. "What some establishments do is hire a mobile food preparation services or in some cases a coffee service," explained Elizabeth Huff, "Manager of Community Services" (very Orwellian) for the Ventura County Environmental Health Division. "Those establishments have permits and can operate in front of or even inside of the stores."

Even inside? Gee, that's big of you. "Those establishments have permits"? In California, what doesn't? Commissar Huff added that there are a range of permits of varying costs. No doubt a plain instant coffee permit would be relatively simple, but if you wished to offer a decaf caramel macchiato with complimentary biscotti additional licenses may be required.

"We're certainly working with the health department," said Mr. Collins. "We want to be in compliance with the law."

Why? When the law says that it's illegal for a storekeeper to offer his customer a cup of coffee, you should be proud to be in non-compliance. Otherwise, what the hell did you guys bother holding a revolution for? Say what you like about George III, but he didn't prosecute the Boston Tea Party for unlicensed handling of beverage ingredients in a public place.

This is the reality of small business in America today. You don't make the rules, you don't get to vote for people who make the rules. But you have to work harder, pay more taxes, buy more permits, fill in more paperwork, contribute to the growth of an ever less favorable business environment, and prostrate yourself before the Commissar of Community Services-all for the privilege of taking home less and less money.

The prohibition of non-state-licensed coffee is a small but palpable loss to civic life-a genuine community service, as opposed to those "Community Services" of which Elizabeth Huff is the state-designated "Manager." Randy Collins and the other taxpayers of Ventura County pay Commissar Huff's salary. I would wager that, like most small business owners, the Collins family work hard. They take fewer vacations and receive fewer benefits than Commissar Huff. They will retire later and on a smaller pension. Yet they pay for her. Big Government requires enough of a doughnut to pay for the hole: you take as much dough as you can get away with and toss it into the big gaping nullity of microregulation. And it's never enough. And eventually you wake up and find your state is all hole and no doughnut......

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Now you talk about SILLY and DAFT (for you British) Government

regulations (be it Federal or State or County) .... I mean maybe the USA deserves to be in the mess it is in, with politicians from planet Pluto running the Feds, or State, or County, with such bloopers, and that's just a tiny bit of the huge boopers all over the USA.